Parental Guidance Advised

2009-01-14T11:55:00.002+08:00

its seems that i'm going back to my old habits of being dropped into the pits of thee hell of the jap craze...well, it is the exam season after all...time to start being distracted from my studies i guess...

anyway, wanna guz how i'm gonna spend the next 3 hours? its not really a brain-cracking question actually...i'm watching my drama...yeah...put the blame on Roger...he was like "hey!!! did watch Scrap Teacher...??its DAMN funny!!!"

...and i swore not to start on another drama until my last paper just the weekend before...

haiz...i guz when the cat is away, the mice will play....here, the cat happens to be my bf who had kindly left me alone so that i can concentrate on my studies...n of coz the mice (mouse actually...i'll dump him if i find out that im not the only mouse around him...) is playing her hearts out (ie, watching drama and fangurling over little boys...gosh...im turning into a paedophile/peadophile/ MJ-wannabe!!!)

oh well...i guz i'll have to renew my promise again after the last episode of Scrap Teacher...and prolly break it again within days, since Kame's drama is coming up next...no matter what, i NEVER miss a Kame drama okaaaay.....even if it means having a paper the next day...actually, no lah...i'm not really that bad... i'll simply postpone it to the afternoon after i finish that paper...

...and Ohno's gonna play in a comedy role too!! = more dramas. i shouldn't even think about making promises...its never gonna work...its too inborn in me (BS...I only started 2 years ago...but it feels like a habit...)

today i had my hair done-up in Ryousuke style...actually, its nowhere near to his style...juz loads of hairpins on my head...but i like it...his style i mean...n i try to imitate it...if only i had a lil more time...or better still, a hairstylist to do it for me...his hairstylist to be exact...but its never gonna be the same...coz its Ryousuke...the next Tegoshi....cute, and ABSOLUTELY pretty...im swear im turning peado...paedo...argh!! MJ-wannabe...but Ryousuke's hair looks so goooooooooood in their PV...of coz, there is nooooo doubt that he'll be the cutest in HSJ!lucky them...even beating Chinen, who apparently, is growing up faster than i realized...

n coz i spent the whole of last night juz stuck on HSJ, i got their song stuck on my head now...thruout the ICP test, i was happily singing the song in my head while i continuously scribbled CRAP on my paper....

....n once in a while, i whispered to noone in particular...

"*Shadooo?"

(note: * = shadow in jap spelling)

2008-11-09T23:52:00.003+08:00

uh...juz visited yan's blog...happen to see her blog webbie and since we aren't realli able to kip in touch, i decided to see how she's doin in life...it was quite...shocking. okay...it wasn't THAT shocking, but it was surprising...shes currently engaged (the only one out of the 4 of us) n i felt that we are already worlds apart...ok...so me n her hadn't been kipin intouch as she had wif jun n me wif jun...but juz readin her entries, i realized how being engaged is a whole lot different than being in a relationship...ok...like DUH!! u may say...but this is an eye-opener to me, i guz...she calls him honey n baby...kk...i call nas tat too...but only in private....hmmm....maybe its the status itself...being engaged to the guy means u r half-officially married to him...a prep course, i shud say....in a way, its quite frightening (i'm a commitment-phobe still....) but on the other hand, it is quite...interesting?

but dun get me wrong. there is no way i'm gonna jump into engagement status so soon, much less marriage. i'm a commitment-phobe, rem? (i juz mentioned tat again). its gonna take me quite a few years to prepare myself for such a one-way highway...if nothing more, i wanna do my best for my final year n work n save up n go japan (yessss....i'm that poor to hafta work n save up to go japan) n buy a car n wait till he completes his degree n get a better job n....wat the hell am i tokkin abt? argh!!! i'm thinkng too far ahead again....haiz...guz blacque thinks in terms of years instead of days, ne?

but seeing yan who is happily gonna get married soon, i feel happy for her. glad that she found someone to light up her life and share her blissful moments wif. a wonderful gal such as her deserves a wonderful guy like him. ok, pls ignore the fact that i've never met him n juz learnt his name minutes ago...lol!!

haiz...i guz, as we grow older, we will all go our own way, ne? there are some frens whom u'll keep in touch wif no matter how long it had been...there are others u'll see once in a while...we will all grow up n haf our own families n be busy wif em ne? juz being in a relationship is already more than enuf to change the schedules in ur life...which i realized...n since we r on a coolin-off period (coz he is having his exams), i decided to take this chance n go back to my old lifestyle...catching up on naruto shippuuden, a drama-thon of maou n currently zettai kareshi...startin to keep up wif the ongoin VK Guilty anime....late night sleeps...slackin on my studies (ok, this one is not good)...juz goin back to my pre-nas way of life....n i realize how much i miss that lifestyle...so i've decided, tat i'll try to incorporate that into my current lifestyle as well...the problem wif tat however, is i'm already tryin too many things into my life...when my life previously had been divided into 3 parts only (family, school n internet life), now i hafta squeeze in another..him of coz...n i think my stress capacity n concentration allows for only 3 parts...not 4....n the fact that im in my final year n hafta study hard for my bludeh SIX subjects....i can feel the stress building up sooner or later....hmm....do i haf the capacity to hold it in? its time i put my new pattern into test-mode ne?

ah well....good luck to me....

2008-09-27T02:03:00.002+08:00

two nights ago, i had a very nice convo wif zul...it was damn great...coz we were having a bitch session..and bitch sessions are ALWAYS very nice...all the beans r spilled and when u spill the beans wif a mat, its bound to have u laughing like crazy in front of your comp...when fahmi joined us later, it was more hilarity ensued...

damn...i muz mit up wif them one of these days....lepak tgh wif the mats...be the only rose among the thorns...a very funny bunch of thorns...haha...

hmm...its 3 days to raya n i'm stuck making my cupcakes for tmr...first time trying to bake anything cakey coz all this time its been biscuits only...

hmm...hope it'll turn out well...

the whole raya prep is getting on my nerves...n when the prep is gonna be over, it will be replaced by those visits...which i soooo hate coz i hafta serve em everytime they come...daughter of the house, eh? sianz....

haiz...it'll be 2 more weeks till i next see...ahem ahem...withdrawal symptoms r so sian-atizing....y can't u fall in love w/o having to suffer from the whole "i miss u" deal when u dun get to see him...?even a frickin great streak of naru-thoning isn't enuf to dislodge him from my brain cells...this is sooo getting on my nerves...coz i want to see him....especially since he cut his fringe...bludeh hell...there goes the cute fringe...damn it...huh! gotta blame this all on the whole raya hooohaaa...

damn it.

i seriously wanna see him.

damn it.

better get back to my naru-thon.

2008-09-23T17:03:00.005+08:00

alright...this is only the 2nd week and already i'm skipping lectures halfway...but theres a "valid" reason...i din bring my ME lecture notes for Game theory...if u think that was bad, guz wat? i slept in my first ever lecture of the new semester last week...

another chance at that first class honours? i dun think there's a possibility for me to smell third class even, if i am to keep this up...

so far all the lectures i've been attending are my repeat lectures...so i kept getting the "been there, done that" kind of un-motivation...that nonchalant attitude towards my repeat subjects....REPEAT subjects...meaning i have absolutely no reasons to ignore them again like last year...but here i am, doin it alllllllll over again....

Blacque is repetitive and compulsive in her habits...can't blame her...

Sunny Goh was being quite a charm as usual for his OTIA....i'm hearing new stories, so it kept me interested (while i'm not dozing off...unintentionally, of coz...) hey....its always the crap stories he tells that got me glued waaaattt....never the contents...thats why i'm a failure in OTIA...coz when it comes down to the crunch time, with a pair of frozen hands and 10 frozen fingers that felt as if i'm gonna get frostbites at any time of the3-hours paper, it was always the crap stories that comes to memory...never the contents....

if i were to push the blame partially on the sunny guy, i'd say his contents weren't reliable in times of need...his crap stories were much more reliable....on the other hand, if the blame is to be pushed on the one who set the paper, i'd say he dunno how to select questions...giving us questions with absolutely no reliable source to back us up....

realize i am totalli refusing to take the blame? then u'll know that i was juz crapping in the last paragraph...the sunny guy's stories had rubbed off on me....(pushing the blame again)

on the other hand, Ting's stories and jokes are the SAME repetitive jokes which i heard last year....so much so that it felt like deja vu...

here is the amazing ting (pun intended)...i ACTUALLY LAUGHED again!!!

makes me ting (pun intended, again XD), ting is prolly the closest to what we have to our very own SIM's Mr Bean....all those 100 million re-runs, and we never get tired of it...even Nageb cudn't pull that one off with his "ang goon kia!" (how do u spell that?)

talking abt nageb, my ICP lesson has yet to start this week...what took him so long?? i'm sooo looking forward to the pressurizing, crazy class that i'll expect from him...seriously...i'm not kidding...its prolly my 2nd most anticipated class this sem coz i noe nageb is teaching...my most anticipated class this sem is gonna be ESAP, taught by....*drum roll*...THE SUNNY GUY!!!

yes...u better believe me when i say i'm getting a double dosage of the sunny guy this year...i have the timetable printed in black and white to prove it, u noe...looks like it'll be extra sunny this year, for me...hope i wun get too sun-burnt....wahahaha!!! lame sia!!!!

haiz...this is what u become when u take 6 subjects in ur final year, i guz...ur brain gets fried EVEN before the real sem start its roll....

so i did, what i tot wud have been a good remedy for this disease called "boredom"...

i went to watch a movie alone.

okk...it was becoz i was stuck with nothing to do while waiting for 3 hours to pass since ICP haven start this week yet...and coz it is fasting month, i can't possibly do the other favourite pastime of mine, which is eating, of coz....so a few minutes before OTIA lecture ends, i began packing my stuffs, making a whole lot of noise as Bethia had done for last year...(Bethia is soooooo gonna be proud of her new disciple)

i even messaged ry coz i KNEW she'd be slacking at home...(fellow slackers seem to understand the patterns of another slacker, u see....)but i think she has yet to wake up at that time (it was a frickin 12 pm yo!!!lunch, brudder!! lunch!!! how cud u ever miss out on ur ritual gorge-times??!!)

anyway, since she cudn't make it, i decided to stick to my initial plan, which was watching my movie at JEC...when i got there, i did the one thing that i tot was unimaginable....

i chose to watch MIRRORS over Mamma Mia....

a bludeh horror movie over a sunny, romantic comedy-cum-musical....

ALONE.

HOW I REGRETTED IT.

i was only in my first 10 minutes of the movie, and i was already scrambling frantically for my bag which i had nonchalantly and gallantly threwn aside when i first sat down.

that movie is....urgh!!!

good thing i was fasting. if i have any food wif me, i wud have puked...

worst thing? there were only 6 ppl in the theatre, including me...a couple which sat infront, two tai tais who have too much money and prolly feeling young and decide to watch a horror movie...and an uncle who is as alone as i was at the back...i was sitting in a row, all by myself...and everytime a horror scene comes on, i was looking to my left and right, as if trying to look for someone...

well...actually, i'm glad there wasn't anyone...if sumwan DID apppeared, i'd scream the daylight out of the whole movie theatre...coz moz prob, that "someone" isn't really anyone....

okk...i'm spooking myself out here....

but the show was great....there were those unbearable moments wif lotsa screaming where i had to be like Bethia...plucking my mp3 into my ears to drown the scary sound effects off...see? i'm being such a good Bethia-disciple!!haha...

my recommends to u guys who wanna watch mirrors...the twist at the end is great, altho the solution to the problem was kinda abrupt...a lil like wat u'd expect from an M.Night Shaymalan's movie, w/o the cheesy, lame rationale behind it of coz...

but if u have nothing n noone to watch it with u, i'd suggest go watch mamma mia instead...

coz i regretted watching mirrors alone....

altho i felt like i've achieved a special kind of achievement today...haha

this is blacque, out!! n shaking from her first solo horror movie experience!!!

2008-09-04T00:43:00.002+08:00

THUG -You a strait up ''Gangsta'' -Attractive personality -Loves those who love them. -Very! sexy. -Affectionate & Secretive. -Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. -Chatterbox! Loves to talk alot! -A meaningful love life partner -Loves to get their way! -Unbelievable kisser! -Easily angered. -Able to cheer anyone up and make them laugh. -Very stubborn in the most way possible! -Loves to get noticed! -Willing to take risks for others. -Makes good choices. -Has a great fashion sense! -Maybe a little too popular with others * wink wink*. -Outgoing and crazy at times! -Intelligent. -Can love as much as possible! -Hates insults. Loves compliments! -A very big flirt! Trustworthy. -Appreciative and returns kindness. -The best in bed out of ANY of these months!! -Hardly shows emotions. -Tends to bottle up feelings. -Observant and assesses others.

it describes me...got it frm a facebook quiz...but i'm not an aug baby...but it still describes me quite perfectly...haha....

altho i haf no idea about the "best in bed" thingy...haha...it'll be years till i get to experience tat maybe? wahaha....

"able to cheer anyone up and make them laugh"....maybe...other than that, i get the usual 'you-are-so-noisy-u-piss-the-hell-out-of-me' look....

bottle feelings up? yeah...sure...until they erupt...then chairs will grow wings and fly across the room...

observant and assess others...hell yeah...u guys better be careful with this one...coz i can read ppl like a book...whether there are typos, its not my fault....

i feel like listening to Yellow Card's Only One....currently, Your Guardian Angel is my earwax....wanna noe why?

...dun tell u....

XP

2008-09-03T03:50:00.002+08:00

oh wow...i didn't realize that i haven't been writing in here for over 3 mths now...haha...

so why the hell am i here tdy? coz i was checking out if i really wrote abt failing ME and OTIA before...the answer? nope. so Miss Ho Ruo Yun, you were completely being psychotic when u said u read abt it in my blog...haha...

ok...so now we get to the freaky part....

She was right on the spot.

i did fail my ME and OTIA...saw my results tdy...was feeling half and half about it...coz on one hand, i actually passed my PMKG and POA (oh...tat POA paper was truly hell...i spent one hour doing absolutely NOTHING coz i cudn't even go abt doin anything...blanked out...totalli) yep...the PMKG paper where i only wrote a short paragraph for a 25 mark question...i'm amazed at how i passed it at all...okok...so neither of my POA or PMKG grades are above 50, but oh well...i passed them...

the bad part is, i wrote sooooo much more for my otia as compared to my pmkg...and i flunk the paper...as in FLUNK THE PAPER...i swear this is a really unlucky event, coz my tests & assignments for OTIA were pretty well-done...i kinda scored...

so why the hell did i fail my OT?

as for ME, it was so expected, i remembered blowing a kiss to Mr Ting, saying cheerfully "See you next year, Mr Ting!!"

...okay...i didn't do that..there is nooooo way i'll ever do that...its TING!! hurhur...but the feelings of hopelessness were pretty much illustrated by the image i gave u...yep...i gave up on ME even before the exams were started...so now, i will truly be able to see ting again...haha...i wonder if i'll sleep this time too...

...no, wait...i bet if Mr Ting sees me in his class again next yr, he'll prolly say "ahh...she's sleepin this year too...?" haha

being a pioneer had been a valuable experience after all, eh? see? now i'm a full-fledge, cornified pro slacker.....where else in the world can u attain such great title if u weren't a pioneer, ryt?

so Miss Ho....are u a psycho or are u a psychic? lemme noe yeah? coz if its the latter, i wanna contact u before my exams next yr...see if u can figure out the questions....

but if its the earlier...stay away from me arh...

haha...jokin...we r brudders, aren't we? i'll go made wif u too...no worries bout tat...lolz!!

hmm...so wat else shud i say abt myself this time ard? i dun wanna say too much, but let's juz say...i'm fallin for someone faster than u can say "who is it?"

hurhur...aquarians and scorpios may be incompatible by the charts...and u'll prolly wanna avoid a scorpio if u r an aquarian...

...until u feel the sting of a scorpio's love...

...it gets u addicted....

...i am addicted.

so, to hell with those charts....

coz this pair will defy the laws of the stars.

2008-05-22T03:37:00.004+08:00

Half Time: I wanna kill Ferdinand. Man U was 1-0 up and he had to give away that goal to Lampard and Chelsea....Man U had been playing pretty good, with good ball possesion in the first half of the first half....that double unlucky attempt...it should have been another goal yo...mah...been a rough game...everyone roughing each other up...scholes with his bludeh nose....well, off to 2nd half now...Man U better win...Live up to the '99 Legend yo!!!

22nd May, 5.37am: MANCHESTER UNITED IS A DOUBLES CHAMPIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE WON THE FRICKIN CHAMPIONS LEGUE!!! ITS VDS TO THE RESCUE AGAIN!!! OR RATHER, TERRY TO THE RESCUE!!!!!!!! OH GOODNESS!!! I'M HYPERVENTILATING!!! OH GOODNESS!!! THEY RE-CREATED THE '99 LEGEND!!! WAHAHAH!!! HOLY SHIT!! THAT PENALTY KICK OFF GOT ME BITING MY NAILS AND ALL....WHEN RONALDO MISSED IT, I TOT MAN U WAS OVER...BUT TERRY SLIPPED DUE TO THE HEAVY RAIN....THE RAIN!!! IT SAVED THE RED DEVILS!!! GOSH...BUT MAN OF THE MATCH...ITS GOTTA BE VAN DER SAR!!! HAHA...CHELSEA IS LOOKING AS IF THEY ARE MOURNING RIGHT NOW....THEY SHOULD ALRIGHT!!! THEY LOST IT DUE TO TERRY'S SLIP....DUN WURY TERRY...IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT....ITS JUZ THAT LADY LUCK DECIDED TO SWITCH SIDES AT THE LAST MINUTE....NAH....LAST SPLIT SECOND....OMG....NOW I REALLY CAN'T SLEEP....AWW....MAN U FORMED THE LINE OF HONOUR FOR CHELSEA....SEE? THIS IS WHY I LOVE FOOTBALL SO MUCH....YOU GET TO SEE BIG BOYS CRY THEIR EYES OUT IN FINAL MATCHES LIKE THIS....AND IT HAD BEEN A MATCH FULL OF ACTION....PLAYERS FALLING ALL OVER EACH OTHER, FIGHTING AND SCUFFLES...DROGBA SENT OFF!!!I CAN'T STOP RANTING...OH SHITZ...I'M SO FRICKIN HAPPY...ESTATIC...NO MORE THAN THAT...I THINK I MAY HAVE TORN A MY WOUND FROM SHOUTING WHEN VDS SAVED THE LAST PENALTY...OH SHIT....I HOPE THE STITCHES IN MY MOUTH DOESN'T TEAR AT MY WOUND....HELLL...BUT I'M HAPPY....MAN U ARE RED DEVILS TO THE CORE....AWWW!!!! WAS THAT GEORGE BEST LEADING MAN U PLAYERS TO THEIR MEDAL?? UWAAAAHH~~~FERGIE IS SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR RIGHT NOW....WELL HE SHOULD BE....MAN U REALLY DESERVED THIS....THEY REALLY PLAYED THEIR ASS OFF FOR THIS GAME...77% BALL POSSESSION...OH MY...WAT A GOOD VIEW OF GIGGS AND FERD LIFTING THE TROPHY....MAN U FANS OF THE WORLD REJOICE!!!!

MANCHESTER UNITED: CHAMPIONS OF THE UEFA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE FINALS 07/08!!!!

...now thats my red devils....XD

2008-05-01T04:59:00.002+08:00

wow....Chelsea- Liverpool match is sooo much more interesting than the Man U- Barca match...Oo

Man U better do better than the Barca match in the finals...

finally done with modding the JE CR FC...had to placate a few parties here and there...

Maybe I should work as a mediator when i enter the working adult society (not looking forward to it)...

But then again, maybe i shouldn't...coz a lot of bull-shitting goes into my mediations...

Oh well...as long as both parties are happy....

I am REALLY sneaky person sometimes, desho?

2008-04-24T00:19:00.002+08:00

hmm...what can i say about today?

fun? happy? tiring?

well...its probably all of the above, but definitely NOT efficient...

studied in school again with wendy, ts, nad and beryll...

should have known better...

us gurls ended up talking like 95% of the time...

ts was doing the stuffs bethia and some of us were asking him, but we know he was listening with 100% attention too...thats why he can't seem to explain stuffs that well today....not like last week...he explained chp 7 of ME until i felt extremely motivated to study ME...for the first time since i took that course...haha...ts saiko desu!!

the 4 gurls were talking about anything and everything under the sun...(and i was snickering at bethia when she said that...muz be her talk mode rub off on me liao le...) nad, me n beryll were talking about pj stuffs...then, somehow we went on to handphones...and a whole lot of other stuffs (shampoos included)....no matter how i try to withdraw from the conversation, i find myself pulled back in less than a minute later...wahaha...studying with them is fun, but i really din study...

during lunch, i burnt my tongue...slurped up the boiling hot tom yum soup even though i was telling myself its hot...i guz my brain was realllly not functioning well....stared at cournot from the start until 5 hours later, then i asked ts...he explained to me within 5 minutes and i understood the thing i was trying to understand in the past 5 hours...should have asked him to explain right from the start ryt? haiz...

after beryll left, when na-chan was about to go home, somehow the topic of conversation turned to porn and sex...apparently wendy is seriously naive, pure and innocent...when we heard that, the 3 of us gave her that disbelieved blank look....then she ask us to teach her...and immediately the 3 of us went like "its ok...dun watch ok...u'll regret it...its very hard for us to find such innocent people, so we dun want to corrupt u..."

thats right...we were trying desperately keep her in the dark....the 3 of us corrupted people...when na-chan left for work, only me n ts were stuck with wendy's bombarding question...n worst, everytime she ask us what this or that means (she was practically begging us to teach her), ts n i look at each other, communicate somehow thru that simple look and we both shook our heads, refusing to explain anything to her...it was funny...i received the bigger portion of her pokings though....during those times, when i turn to ts for help, he juz shrugged n looked away...that bugger!! leave me stranded with a red face trying to explain some of the terms n ideas to wendy....hurhur...not fun lor...

we talked (me n ts were avoiding) about that topic for the last one hour i was in school...diao...but it was fun...i'm surprised at how much i knew...haha...oh well, who says virgins are supposed to be innocent-minded anyway...??

oh...by the way, the highlight of the day was me n na-chan achieving full manzai comedy duo status...

beryll: I'm goin down to get something for awhile. u guys want anything?
blacque na-chan: (in unison) why are you going down?
blacque (turning to na-chan) : ehh!! we said that in unison!! could it be that we are...
blacque na-chan (in unison + the hand sign): ...in destiny??!
silence in the frozen group....3 hard, cold stares...3 jaws dropping...blacque n na-chan were already laughing like crazy
the other 3:
what was that!!!??? (beryll)
for awhile there, the temperature dropped below freezing point!! (wendy)
i dun really know what happen to you 2 liao....you guys watched too much japanese right?? (ts)
blacque was simply laughing till she teared up....haha...that was the peak point of the day...

oh...n have i mentioned that i have a new guy's hand/fingers fetish that started eversince i was in my tacchon-streak (few months ago...)? i realize i can't tear my eyes away from some of the guys' fingers lately...especially if the hands are big, and the fingers are long....like tacchon's (drummer's fingers), ryo's (i replayed that finger scene 15 times....and it was only a few split seconds), sometime ago, some guy's in the mrt (didn't stop staring until he put his hands in his pocket....he wasn't facing me though)...

and moz recently, i discovered juz now...

...ts's...

simply couldn't help staring at his fingers while he was sleeping juz now...got me thinking
"they are basketballer's fingers...fits my fetish exactly..."
...then i blushed like crazy...

--""

....thank god noone caught that blush...

yabai ne...?

2008-04-20T01:14:00.002+08:00

what do u do when u get too many nice coments from ur readers?

you go on writing.

without regard for your finals coming up.

i'm in deep shit.

how many years have i been saying this? but i'm still here.

dun u ever wonder why isit that when u r struggling ur very best to work hard, there'll be tons of other stuffs to do that appear like magic, all of a sudden?

like writing a fanfic...
watching your fave actor's drama...
looking up lyrics...
looking up vids...
mod-ding the group...
handling all the crazy fangurl wars that had to appear at this time...
watching ur mna u lagging behind blackburn....
writing in ur blog...
juz delaying ur sleep time...

thinking about him...

ehh?

where did the last one come from?

haha...

shhh...its a secret...XD

oh...n i dunno y, but y am i always excited for bethia whenever her bodybuilding twins come for otia class? i mean, i find hunky guys a total turn off...so y do i get excited as well?

i tell u y...

coz u shud look at the way she squeals sometimes...

its aldhsfhlkjsd;f cute...haha...

message to bethia: i chickened out in the last OTIA lecture, but i'll try to pass him ur number next time yeah? lolz!! if i dun chicken out again, that is...

2008-03-22T00:24:00.002+08:00

currently waiting for my Jr subbed video to finish downloading...33Mb in 10 minutes...2 years ago, i wouldn't have complained at all...coz i was using dial up...now, i'm complaining about the speed of my 3k Mbps broadband speed...how ungrateful can i get??

this week had been quite good...no more exam stress although i'm already starting on my revisions again...one week break had been enough, desho? then there was the exciting experience of going to the Management House for my ME UOL revision lecture...i was super hyper the whole day, coz when i came in the morning, the walk from the bustop to the MH was extremely good..i was strolling and enjoying the blue sky...then there was this one scene i remember clearly...i was goin past one of these super rich landed property and the image i saw was that of a wooden construction (i think it was the patio or verandah) and there was palm trees and the bright blue sky in the back ground...in that split second, i just felt as if i'm no longer in singapore...hawaii maybe...or california...wish i had stopped to capture the scene on my hp cam...then i can share it here...but then the girl behind me might think i'm crazy...or if the owner caught me, he might sue me by the millions for taking pictures of his house...whatever...lets just say i seem to be the only one in my group who enjoyed the long walk into the MH...

Tobias was good...at least he went thru the chps again and isn't like some other ang moh lecturer *coughscoughsamoscoughs* who assumes we are supposed to have the whole subject guide memorized by heart after completing the syllabus just 3 weeks before...i made good progress with the 1st 2 chaps...me and nad:

me: i feel so intelligent now!! don't you?
nad: yeah!! me too!! i finally can master the whole game theory!!
me: yeah...me too!! we are intelligent, ne?
nad: yeah!!
me: yosh!!...but...thats also becoz we've read the chp 4-5 times before this, right...?
nad: urm....yeah...
me: and it took us the 6th time to actually get it...
nad: ouh....hmm...
me: ....we are not so intelligent after all, ne?...

it was a totally tsukkomi - boke act that was really on the cue...i swear, after interacting with nad-chan for the whole sem, we can actually make a good comedy duo...the things we say to each other sometimes...i guz only we both can understand...guz we both watch too much JE and jap stuffs...haha...

ystdy the walk in wasn't so nice coz its a cold and rainy morning...dreary...and i didnt even get to see the sky (dunno what colour it was) coz i had my umbrella up...wanted to pull out my muffler...seems like the perfect weather to wear it, but then again, its singapore...people will think you are crazy for wearing a muffler, no matter what the weather is...so i didn't...good thing i had my trademark red jacket with me....i really love that jacket...its really become my trademark...even jacqueline whom i just got to know ytdy knows where i'm seated by my red jacket on my seat...i wonder if anyone calls me red riding hood behind my back...? notice how i omitted the "little"...?

ouh yah...one of the reasons i like revision classes is that you get to make new friends...on the first day, i made friends with jacq...previously, i always think of her as a fragile soul...after meeting her, i stilll think of her as a fragile soul...haha...on the second day, i made friends with teck shen and his 2 girl friends...with the 2 girlfriends, i talked with them as if i've known them for the past 10 years, but i never asked them for their names...how baka can i get??

after the lecture, i opened my big mouth and said i wanted to watch a show...ziwan immediately suggested rule #1...although i wasn't planning to watch it coz it doesn't seem horrifying enough for a horror show, i agreed...coz
1) i juz dun wana go home
2) i dun mind watching shawn yue in action...i NEVER minded watching shawn yue in action anyway...he's so kakkoii...
3) i was craving for the ayam penyek...sorry bethia...from now onwards, everytime you go town with me, i'm gonna suggest that ayam penyek place every single time...not that u'd mind, i think...

so we went town to watch rule #1...4 of us...me, ziwan,bethia and teck shen...bethia called ganesh during the bus ride, so he joined us as well...

ziwan was funny...she kept on complaining her stomach isn't equal...on side is bulging and the other isn't...and she made bethia touch her tummy at the traffic junction...me and ts just looked at each other and grinned...after we reach cine, we bought the tickets...and encountered some trouble with the toy-in-a-capsule machine...ziwan called up the company...so ts will get his $1 cheque in one month's time....rofl!! n we actually sat down at food junction so that he can play with his silver shit top...what are we? kindergarten kids?? but it was funny, so i enjoyed it...too bad my energy and hyperness was dissipating fast by then, so i had this permanent "i'm bored" look all the time...gomen ne, gurls...i was really enjoying my time with you guys...that was just my default "i'm tired" face...lolz...

then we went taka...the two were shopping...okay..the trouble with me is that i dun shop like other normal girls around me...i can just stand at the entrance of the shop, scan everything, see nothing i like, then walk off to the next....or the most, i'll take a quick tour around the shop, if something catches my attention, i pick it out with 2 fingers, turn it over once, check the price and then put it back again if i'm not buying it...basically, my shopping can be done in 5 minutes...so imagine me, goin into the shop with bethia and ziwan...i wanted to be out before they were even halfway through...so i went for a 2nd tour...and a 3rd tour...and a 4th tour...in the end, i decided that messaging nad in the middle of the shop is far more interesting...so when they suggested (squeal, rather) to go zara and mango, i told them i wanna go kino...i totally acted like a wet blanket ne? i think i spotted their face change (like "you dun like shopping with us meh?"), but i cudn't stand it...anyway, its really my ritual to drop by kino everytime i go taka...and i HAD to check out if the latest JE mags are shipped...so i went off with ts...only had 25 minutes to look around, but that enough...ouh...by the way, 25 minutes in kino is never enough...am i a girl or a nerd?

ts is amazing...one minute he was complaining he can't find a book, the next i saw him getting hyper over a gamer's edition of the guiness world records that costed a bludeh 32 bucks...that guy is such a child, he really reminds me of peter pan sometimes...but then again, wasn't it me who said i never wanna grow up? so his childishness wasn't that bad for me...quite cute actually...i can totally imagine tegoshi being like this...XD

ganesh joined us just after that...and we all walked to cine back again...surprisingly, quite a number of people went to watch rule #1...okay, i'll just do a quick highlight of the movie and what was happening durin the movie...

* ganesh insisted on the corner seat...so i was stuck between ts and bethia by default...
* ts was complaining about the show during the first 20 minutes and we get to the washing machine part...he got shocked and kept quiet after that...
* in the bedroom sex-scene, we were all laughing coz we couldn't differentiate between fiona xie's and shawn yue's legs...
* halfway through the movie, i realized that bethia was watching the show with her mp3 player plugged on...no wonder i didn't hear her scream...
* the sound effects were scarier than the ghosts...bethia made a good choice...
* possesed or not, its impossible for 5 girls to tie their hair to each other so that they are linked to each other...i saw your loop hole, mr kelvin tong...
* the whole show was slow and pretty boring in some parts, but the twist at the end will leave you discussing for the next 2 hours...look out for the interesting twist at the end...
* bethia cried at the end...first time i see anyone crying at a horror show...is it just her being super sensitive or just me being super non-emotional? i wonder sometimes...

after that we ate ayam penyek...the sambal blachan this time isn't too hot like the last time although it was still quite hot...i finished 2 servings of sambal blachan this time...XD

we wanted to eat mac ice cream...then stuff happens and we end up buying mac ice cream at robinson's basement and walking back to dhoby ghaut...honto ni gomen ne minna-san...i really didn't mean to be a wet blanket....but i was seriously walking like captain jack sparrow by then...tired+lack of sleep = me walking like jack sparrow by the way...

so we all went home instead...super zonked out when i reached home, but still managed to bath and have a lil conversation with my mum...was determined to go sleep the minute i reach my bed, but decided against it....instead, i updated my journal entry in my personal diary...the one that contained the juicier stuffs that i'll never write in here...i really cheirsh my diaries...btw, its in plural form coz since i started writing in my yellow diary in march last year, i gone over 3 different books since then...one year later, and i'm now in my fourth diary...amazing, ne?

tdy i decided not to go visit my grandma's grave with my parents...i wanna, but my legs and eyelid felt like lead...in the evening, i went to my second cousin's house...she's only 21 and she's getting engaged...i feel sooo pathetic...i'm 22 and i'm still single...haiz..studies are more important, ne? i'll wait patiently for someone to capture my attention till then...

should be studying poa right now, but been stuck on comp ever since i got back home...now i'm too tired to study poa...but i dun think i'm to tired to write my fanfic though...i'm so biased in my priorities, ne? but she87 gave me seriously encouraging reviews for my ryohkura ff, and now i'm pumped up once again for my shige's ff...i'll see about it...

2008-03-13T00:19:00.003+08:00

ahh....the prelims are finally over yesterday...but i'm not enjoying it....instead i'm feeling extremely drained right now...of coz, maybe its partly due to the fact that i didn't take the last paper which is managerial econs...which is the one i didn't pay attention to at all through out the whole year...which is why i totally couldn't do a single question from the tutorials...which is why i'm partly glad i had an extremely valid reason why i didn't take it...although it cozed me serious dis-utitlity...see, the reason why i didn't take it was becoz my tonsils are back...meaning an up and down, yoyo fever and a bad case of serious vomiting...it sucks, but i still went to school to take the me paper without being prepared at all...all i wanted was to feel the satisfaction of walking out of the exam hall...its a great feeling, you know, walking out of the exam hall after the last paper...you feel that bounce in your steps and your shoulder feels as if they weigh one tonne lighter...who cares if you handed in a blank answer sheet right? doing just one question won't get your paper marked anyway...thats what i thought...thats what i wanted...so i came early to school at 845 and went straight to the toilet and started vomiting...i know...its disgusting, but i was holding that nausea all the way from yishun...which is basically the whole journey to school...but i was still determined to take the paper...no...enter the exam hall and leave after the first hour...alas, the fever chills got the better of me...i was torn between staying on and going home after that, but there was no choice for me...so i decided that since its still 45 minutes before the paper starts, i better get home before my regret gets bigger...so in the end i went home...and vomited again as soon as i reached home...i had glorious plans of a list of many many things to do on the comp when the exam was over, but none of it came to light till now...i didn't even go berserk on CR...in fact, all i managed was the last 3 episodes of Yukan Club and episode 49 of Shippuuden....other than that, i just felt like curling up underneath my comforter with my jacket on and my socks on and my muffler around my neck, waiting for the fever to subside....maybe its partly due to the horrendously rainy weather but i was really feeling anti-social...and super tired...even now, as i'm typing this i'm actually feeling extremely drained...similar to the post-caffeine effect i always get after drinking a cup of coffee...al my energy is just sapped away...when nisa called my hp i wasn't around to pick up...but i didn't feel like returning her missed call either...like i said, i'm in no mood to go out and have fun, or talk a lot, for that matter...by the way, i think i'm becoming more and more reserved, which may or may not be a bad thing, depending on how you see it...i can't even remember the last time i was acting so bludeh hyper...well, actually that was just last week, but that is due to the can of coffee i was drinking (i really think caffeine has an extra weird effect on me...it gives a powerful boost for the few hours and after that it leave me totally drained...a bit like kakashi's sharingan...) anyway,i'm definitely quieter these days...i don't talk much anymore...especially when i'm in a group of more that 3 people...i'll just stay quietly in the background and just watch them as they talk....i wonder what happened to me...? did something happen that made me like this or had i always been like this? i don't really think i had always been like this...aybe its the group i hang out with? the more dominant the others are, the more inclined i am to just take the back seat and be entertained by their chatters without me having to crack my brain to think of stuffs to say to try to fit into the group...ehh...? blacque isn't always this reserved, ne? actually if i really think hard about it, i think it started ever since i got into the je fandom...i started drifting away from the people around me and the things around me coz i get sucked into my own world...the friends around me didn't share my interest, so i turned to the thread instead...and became less and less used to talking....okay, the situation isn't really that bad...but i'm definitely talking less....its definitely the people i mix around with this year...i can count them on my finger...and they prefer talking among themselves, so i was contented with just sitting there and watch them talk...

i out-talked myself this time...i think u can tell that this entry is just full of random tots...not very organized...i'm tired, thats why....and for the sake of me, i just wish that this tonsil will just go away so i can eat normally and not have to deal with the chills of the fever...

2008-02-28T17:00:00.003+08:00

hmm...this is the trouble of staying at home to study...there are a lot of things that you can do when you dun feel like studying...you can:

*eat whenever and wherever you feel like

*eat whatever and whenever you feel like

*finish up a whole mars bars while still on the same page of your POA lecture note

*log on to the computer "for awhile" during the supposed "break" and end up there for 2 hours

*log on to the comp again coz you simply cannot get anything in your head

its all the things that you cannot do when you are studying outside, which i tried to avoid by studying at home, which eventually become a major major problem...its a hindrance...oh well...i'll start after this...i promise...

realise that i can't study in the afternoons...i'll be super sleepy and forever hungry...so when i eat, i get sleepier...sleep = no studying = potential failure...how many times i've been through this same process over and over and over again? trying to cram one year's worth of lesson into my head within one week...not that the cramming sessions are very successful that is...not with me on this comp right now...and its a bludeh frickin 5 o'clock dammit!! i've just wasted 6 hours of doing everything except studying...singing included...

had to pull myself away from watching the first epi of Isshun no Kaze ni Nare...it was super hard...remember how i said Tacchon/Ohkura was beautiful? he's bee surpassed...By Pink Ranger, Uchi Hiroki...that guy is sooooo beautiful now that he has more meat to him!! i was spazzing like crazy yesterday when i watched the INK extras...and idk why, but seeing him posing beside Ryo makes me wanna cry...those two must have missed each other a lot...i know this might sound crazy, but i really think they'll make a great couple...you can practically FEEL the tenderness coming from Ryo coming out of their photoshoots together...and its a tenderness from Ryo that is reserved only when he is with Uchi...meaning you wun see that tenderness from any of Ryo's photoshoot for the past 2 years that Uchi's been suspended...omg...i think i shall declare that RyoUchi is now my official fave pairing since there seems no hope of an Akame revival...not with Kame acting stand-offish still...

oh wait...for those of you who didn't get it, Ryo and Uchi are not gays...they are members from NewS and Kanjani8...and they are super cute bestfriends who really care for each other...Ryo is the one with the poison tongue, forever calling himself the Sexy Osaka Man...and he is, i guarantee that....he is very manly and he protects Uchi like a protective lover...haha...Uchi is the pretty and beautiful one...the baby of Kanjani8..nicknamed the Princess, coz he is Pink Ranger in Eito Ranger...so when you put the both of them together, you get the makings of a great yaoi fanfic...one which i'm writing right now, coz Ryouchi totally pawns my heart and soul...yes...i'm writing yaoi fanfics...but you wun see it...i'd rather not...only people who'll never meet me in life can read it...XD

oh just in case you are wondering how they look like...

Uchi Hiroki (left) and Nishikido Ryo (right)

RYOUCHI PAWNS MY SOUL!!!

2008-02-06T00:10:00.000+08:00

once again i've moved on to another number in my life...in a matter of split seconds i watch as the clock tick past 12am and thought to myself "Ahh...so this is it...I'm now 22"

There were no celebrations whatsoever...funny how i enjoyed my 22nd birthday more than the 21st...last year, there was this pressure of making it the best birthday bash of your life which i had refused...i prefer it simple...people msging me to wish me happy b'dae is more than enough i guz...the fact that i woke up this morning to find a few msgs wishin me totally made my day...surprisingly, all of them are my sec sch frens...haha...old frens are the best i guz...

okay...so maybe i did celebrate it a lil...coz my dad insisted on eating out...not too surprisingly though, it wasn't me who chose the place...coz my bro was acting as if it was his b'dae, and was buggering me to choose pizza hut...i wasn't havin any cravings, so pizza hut it was...a satisfying meal with your loved ones on ur 22nd b'dae....what could be better ryt?

went home to check CR as usual...feelin a lil self-conceitedly special that the NewS version of Taiyou no Namida is released on my b'dae...not that the producers know me of coz...lolz!! but an even bigger and more pleasant surprise awaited me...

thank you for making this forum..

im happy I was chosen to be part of the jimusho.

(and yes I can't forget when I was new here..*hiding myself using my 2 hands*)

*shots myself for 2539184 times*

hontouni arigatou!!!

teinna posted it an hour before the end of 5th Feb...and it was a very nice completion for my 22nd b'dae....they are truly a lovely bunch whom i've been interacting with over the past one year plus, and i'm glad we've formed real close ties despite having never seen each other...haha the power of fangurling...

anyway, thanks to all who wished me happy b'dae...its been great for me...i'll promise to work even harder and put in my best efforts...but that doesn't mean i wun play as hard too...if there is one thing i wish for my 22nd b'dae, it is that i will never lose the child in me....

Yoroshiku Onegaishimasu!!

2008-02-01T23:01:00.000+08:00

I WANT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

simply becoz Tesshi wore it...of coz he wore the men's version...this is the ladies...why isn't Russ-K in singapore???? its already sold out in Mise* la...wonder who bought the darned thing...and its not really cheap...askfhlsdhfjhal;l...i'll go broke if i buy this...dang...

why the hell am i posting so often??

i should be studying!!

2008-02-01T00:30:00.000+08:00

juz tryin to divide my time more thoughtfully now....altho it doesn't seem as if much tots went into the process...how does "study by day, internet by night" sounds like to you? what am i? Batman? a superhero that is trying to save the CR world from evil subbers who wouldn't let their works be uploaded on streamin sites? haha...maybe i'm doin too much...

in fact, i do think i'm doin too much stuffs right now...lemme see...

Things I'm doin currently:

1) Trying to study for my Prelims
2) Trying to finish my fanfic asap
3) Trying to get the JE CR Fanclub forums kicking
4) Trying to knock some sense of responsibilities into my fellow mods
5) Trying to get my room cleaned up asap
6) Trying my hardest to squeeze in as much comp time into my busy schedule as possible
7) Trying to save up money
8) Trying to find out how the hell I spent $400 in one month
9) Trying to lose weight
10) Trying to get my Ryo-lookalike out of my mind

10 things...It doesn't seem that much, but my life right now does seem pretty packed to me...of all the 10 things, items number 1,2,3,8,10 are the ones taking up the most brain space...

Especially item no. 10...He is seriously taking up toooo much brain space that its startin to be a bit tiresome really....i seriously dunno why this kind of thing HAVE to happen at times nearing the exam period...why didn't i just notice him earlier this semester??!! then i'll have more free-time to wait around hoping to see him ne?

BLACQUE IS SUCH AN IRRITATING PIECE OF SHIT!!

ehh...item #8 is also worrying me...i seriously dunno where the $400 went off to....i din even buy anything expensive!! maybe i withdrew too much...whatever it is, i'm tryin to find a way to live on $50 for a month...for the first time i'm really feelin the pinch of the high transport costs...

item # 3 is actually quite fun...I do the planning, the rest do what I say...not that i'm workin alone though...q_h is helpin me with the plannings, only b'coz i decided that it won't be nice if i make all the decisions...would really like to add her as my fave buddy along with hokuto, but since i'm the leader, i can't show any favourtism ne? sometimes it does sucks to be at the top...

item #2...haha...this one surprised me...my fanfic actually got a lot of support!! it was a real pleasant surprise...not that i'm gonna let you guys read the fanfic though...its for fans only...only fans can take the yaoi stuffs i wrote...the hard thing was they kept on asking for hotter stuffs...as if the ones i wrote were not hardcore enough...but seriously...u can't imagine me writing yaoi stuffs ne? well, don't then...i prefer not to change the image you guys have of me...its the reason why i din wanna let nadiah-chan read it either...that fanfic is bound to make u ppl see me in a different light...

finally we get to item #1...which is what i should be doin ryt now...ahh...i guz i shud start ryt away ne? doin POA for the whole of last week till ytdy had been fun...but now its time to study for my PMKG test *Shige lookalike!!* and ME test *Ryo lookalike*...

by the way, this morning i came extra early to POA class to make friends with him (Ryo)...like i was RUSHING to get to school by 815am...only to find that he didn't come for POA today...SUPER DISAPPOINTED...but saw him MC-ing beside the koi pond during lunch, so it eased my frustrations a lil...i feel so helplessly dumb and stupid now...makes me wish i can just stick to one...eye candies are okay, coz they are juz nice to look at...but crushes are ass-holicaly, bimbotically tiresome...of coz it doesn't help that he is bethia's and ganesh's friend...and him coming over to talk to them ytdy while i just stood there in front of him, making starry eyes...complete idiot i am...

i guess i can put the blame on them for not introducing me...that would have saved me a whole lot of time...and brain space....but on the other hand, ytdy i was walking...nooo...BOUNCING home...like litterally...the bounce in my steps was better than Nike Air...how bimbotic can i get?

okay...i think my sentence structures are startin to become absolutely random...maybe i should start studyin now...

2008-01-30T14:02:00.000+08:00

I swear i can NOT cry when everyone else around me is crying, but I can cry at the most stupidest stuffs that aren't directly linked to me...like when everyone is crying around my grandma at the hospital, i die die try to hold back my tears...but yesterday, after reading Tacchon's J-web entry for the 26th and 27th, I juz couldn't stop crying for him...till i went to sleep...its so bludeh sad...made me think..."this is the real life of these guys that girls from the JE fandom like me are crazy about..."...i totally pitied him...think i'll still the trans from lj and paste it here...

Tacchon J-Web from 01.26 and 01.27
01/26/2008 It's all very sudden, but my mom is in the hospital.
Today is the day of her surgery.
Because I have musical today so I can only stay in Teigoku Theatre and pray (for the success of the surgery).

This morning, when I walked into the theatre, there were a lot of white doves.
(The surgery) will be successful for sure.

So, this is what my job is like, once again, I realized.

I was really weak when I was young.
I often stayed in the hospital and had surgeries.
(After anesthesia was applied), my body became numb,I would slowly fall into unconsciousness.
Even though the surgery happened when I was not consciouness, it was still very scary.
Because of that, on the edge of losing my consiousness, I would cry out for my mom.
Dad would seem worried.
I was really scared of staying in the hospital.
When the night came, and the visit time was over, I would use the public phone and call my mom.
I still remembered that it was very hard on her also.
She even said "I hope I can take your place, and be the one who is sick."
It was Dad who told me about Mom's surgery.
She did not want me to worry so she kept it a secret.
When I heard this, I was really scared.
Grandpa has already gone to heaven.
The surgery this time is only a simple one, and then she will recover.
I cannot bear to lose another loved one again.
But there will be a day when I become all by myself.
I don't know what is right.
I can't talk to others about things like this
But if it's talking to myself, I can manage to get them out.

All of us, what, who, do we exactly live for?

01/27/2008

Mom is okay.
Sorry for worrying everyone.
Maybe I shouldn't have written that entry, but after I wrote it, I became much calmer.
Sorry for letting everyone read my entry.
Even though someone suggested that since I will be doing Endless Shock, I should extend my Kura's Mas until March.
But I said I will probably too busy to update so I shouldn't do it.
Then someone suggested that I can update whenever I want in the Sentai Eito Ranger Corner. But after I thought about it carefully, it is best for me not do it.
Can I have a personal page?
What to do?
Money~~Come discuss with me (smiley face)

*******Note: Since the Sentai Eito Ranger Corner is only once a week, Tacchon wasn't supposed to update on the 26th. But I guess he was too worried/flustered/nervous that he had to let it out. So he decided to write on his J-web (since he found it hard to talk to others about it).

I cried so hard after reading those two entries...
I so wanna hug Tacchon now...

P.S: dun wury about the sentai ranger thingys...it takes a JE fan to understand that anyway...

2008-01-16T13:23:00.001+08:00

shootz...i should do my otia notes for the test later ne?

so why the hell am i still here...

coz i juz discovered mise's online shop...

holy shit...

someone buy me YamaPi's Russ-K jacket please....

edit:i finished my test quickly without undertanding a single thing that i wrote so that i can get back here asap again....

....how smart can i get...?

2008-01-07T16:21:00.000+08:00

i'm super tired right now...been shuttling back and forth to TTSH since the past one week...should i go later? guz until my grandma is out of ICU, i should make it a point to drop by everyday, ne?

this mornin had been super frustrating for me...woke up feeling as if i hadn't slept a wink...den it was followed by this puking feeling that i can't get rid off...walked out of the house with the strong urge to show my middle finger at everyone...at kranji, i wanted to fart at the guy beside me...he didn't do anything, it was jus me feeling super pissed with the sick feeling...so i contented myself a lil by letting out a small, discreet burp...btw, there is noooooooo way my fart is linked to my burp...the farting feeling juz disappeared...if u think i meant that my fart became converted to a burp, u are a complete asshole with nothing but shit for brain...i'm not a fart converter lah...

in my frustration at all the uncles and aunties squeezing in, i tried to put on the biggest show of rebellion that i can manage...

I ATE MY LOLLIPOP

how pathetic can i get? to let the 'ME' as dictated by society to over-run the 'I' in me...but i was ME...not I...so even in the full blast of I's inner rebellion, ME decided the better for myself in the face of society...if you dun understand the shit i juz wrote, study hard and take up Sociology for a uni degree...u'll die, i tell u...u'll simply die from boredom...

the foul mood lightened up a lil into PMKG class...altho i was bitterly disappointed i din get to see **him**, at least the Shige-lookalike (that doesn't look like Shige at all) was there to mend my bitterly regretful heart...

so i should be happy, right?

I should.

but the fact is, I'm not.

Coz i didn bring my specs today.

meaning i'm as half-blind as a half-blind bat...(or maybe a half-cured bat, since bats are already blind...)

meanin i cudn't get to see the Shige-lookalike's face

which is stupid

which is even stupider, coz i couldn't see the screen or even Patricia's eyes even

that made it triple-stupid

coz i came to school for nothing

well,other den sitting in front of this comp, that is...

but that means i came to school for all the wrong reasons

which had just made this day a very stupid day

and its not even April Fool's yet

wth

i should just sit here since 830 am....

2008-01-02T11:01:00.000+08:00

POST # 100!!!

eh...what a way to start off this blog in this new year...and i swear it wasn't planned at all!! juz logged in to my acct and poof! it shows up that i've written (and crapped thru) 99 worthy (and unworthy) precious entries over the last...*count by the fingers*...4 years?okay...by average, thats a measly 25 entries per year...but it wasn't like that, ne?i went thru brief periods of no blogging and then there was that shocking (not so actually...) and totally dramatic (i'm seriously overstating things here...) decision to go on a sudden blog and MSN hiatus (for those of u who still dunno what hiatus means, its a study break...of coz, i wasn't studying during MY hiatus....) been sulking and brooding over what seemed an eternity...can't believe i was actually being sulky, even online...

in a way, i was partly trying to get away from the (increasingly irritating) blogging and chatting addiction...but it turned out that that decision threw me into a whole new addiction that totally took me unaware...the CR addiction....it was terrible...simply terrible...for the most part of 2007, i was losing sleep (by the hours) every single night....sometimes i didnt' sleep at all...every single minute was either spent on CR or doing some kind of weird video/medley/subbing projects or avatars or icons...all dedicated to my newly-found craze of Johnny's Entertainment Fandom...every single thing i did online was directly-related to them...and i seriously mean EVERYTHING...this is seriously the one time in my life so far that i became so obssessed over anything at all...it even beat my any other crazes...in fact, i can't think of any other craze...this is seriously THE CRAZE...ironically, bad as it was (making me walk around in school like a zombie and sleeping in every single lecture, especially Soci) i enjoyed every single minute of my obssesion...the craving for more and more of the guys were overwhelming at times...especially when i went into one-of-the-guys streak...up to date, i've been through 7 streaks now, with Ohkura being the current one...

that was the basic summary of my 2007, ne?a lil pathetic, but i had a really good year...i even got away scot-free for my heinous crime (of choosing CR over my last minute muggings the night before the papers for my final exam) by a mere hair's breadth...it was almost miraculous (looking at how i was so confident of failing every single paper with my nocturnal (non) studying modes)...i take that back...i think the examiners in UOL had mixed my result with someone else's...i'm sure there's a UOL student somewhere in this world who had to repeat every single subject for his/her year one topics coz our results were exchanged...i sympathise for that person...even more if that person is a frickingly hardworking student....BUT TOO BAD!! i got away with ur results...

so what are my resolutions for the new year of 2008? well, i have to say that i already broke my first resolution...and that was to be serious about my other resolutions....yep...and its only the second day of the year...(i had to check that...i kept on thinking that it is the third!! i'm unecessarily fast this year,ne?)

*SIDE REMARK: as i'm typing this, the girl beside me keep on looking at my comp INDISCREETLY!!WTH???!!! look at your own comp screen for goodness sake...she's even doin it to the girl on her other side...i wonder if a psycho is seated beside me...who in the world would do such a thing??!! indiscriminately some more...siao...its frickin irritating i tell u...*

eh....so goin back to my entry, my other resolutions include working harder than last year...its the same resolution every year...but this time i WANT to work harder...i'm not just SAYING it...i WANT to...the scare of anticipating my exam results last year was one of the most heart-stopping moments i had in my life...so i dun want that to repeat again....so i'm trying my best to be a lil more hard-working...its another countdown for me isn't it? countdown to the prelims (first)...which is in 2-3 month's time...but like i said i'm already creating a crack in this resolution of mine...evidence? here i am, seated in front of the comp...initially, the moment i came into the library, i went to one of the cubicles and took out my POA and actually started my studying...but then i decided to print my OTIA asignment before the library becomes packed...so what happened when my fingers touch the keyboard? it stay glued to the keyboard...i ended goin back to my cubicle, pack all my stuffs in a flash, go to where i'm seated right now, download flash player and started streaming the whole Johnny's Countdown...

...which i've anticipating for the past one month...

...which i have been itching to watch for the past 24 hours ++...

...which i had been watching for the past one hour with a silly grin plastered on my face (i love the collabos!!!and Subaru's awesome hair that seemed so similar to Shige's!!)...

...which i had just finished watching while writing this paragraph...

...i'm satisfied right now, ne?

...i should be able to move on, plaster that crack in my resolution, plug off the headphone from the comp, close all windows, clear all the history, snatch my bag and walk back to the cubicles, ne?

...i should be doing that right now, ne?

yes, i should..

but its virtually impossible...i'm having a keen urge to watch the whole countdown again...and post in the forums...and post in the group forums...and post in everyone's GB to return their new year wishes...to check out the meaning of a word that i meant to look up, but which i can't remember which word it was now...

...to just stay stuck in front of the comp up till OTIA class at 3.30...

*ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: she had the cheek to stare again!! so this time, i stared back at her...wonders of all wonders, she looked at me as if she wasn't guilty at all, and turned to look at the other girl's screen...this is seriously scary...i muz admit i'm a lil freaked out by her strange behaviour...is it fate that sent such an annoying pest to me to drive me away from the comp...?if so, then fate is cruel indeed....i was deprived of one week's worth of comp time yo!!*

eh...i think i shall change to another comp...so long for now...

2007-12-19T18:02:00.000+08:00

sometimes people ask what i dun like....like really really dun like...so i tell them, if its about the human character, then there are a lot...i'm the type to really observe people...in fact, i can judge how a person is feeling based on his/her facial expressions...its like there for the world to see, so i always wonder why is it that some people can be quite KY (urm....its a very famous Jap word to use right now...can't quite remeber the exact word, but basically it means can't read the situation) at certain times...

so then people continue to ask me what else i dun like....and i can only say 2 words that come to my mind....

"Pineapple" and "Caterpillars"

i dun understand how anyone can eat something as tangy and tongue-biting as pineapple...juz typing about it right now makes me feel as if i'm licking a thousand needles....the only pineapple i can eat are those found on top of a hawaiian pizza...coz there is no tang to it...the tangiest of a pineapple flavour that i will endure is that in a can of red bull...other than that, dun even come to me with a slice of pineapple...i can't even see it, lest taste or smell it...

the second thing i hate are caterpillars...now, everyone knows that i am an animal-lover...i love all that comes from the animal kingdom (excluding certain types of humans..)....all except for this weird thing that god created, which Man had named as a caterpillar...okay...if i can bring myself to stare at a picture of one long enough, it might be possible for me to find them quite cute...but then again, i can't bring myself to stare at one...it makes me all squirmish, as if there are thousands of them crawling all over my body...i think its simply the way they move...same goes for worms...gaawd...my hairs are standing on ends juz thinking about it...

other than those two, i dun find myself hating stuffs that much...i may hate, say...the rain, for example....its so wet and cold, its impossible to walk freely when u are outside...even with an umbrella, its such a hassle...which is why i rather choose to walk on a freaking hot day like just now instead of taking the bus...but then, i couldn't bring myself to say that i hate the rain 100%...coz when i really sit down and think about it, this planet is only existing in its present state becoz of the rain...it is truly a gift that is only available on Earth...we wun get to live up till today had there been no rain...so, in a way, i'm pretty thankful for the rain too...juz that its a hassle....but i dun hate it as much as i hate Pineapples and Caterpillars....

ahh...its time for me to go home right now...it'll be quite awhile till i can next log on to the comp, so i've loaded and stuffed myself with loads and loads of K8 vids to my memory...if it is possible, i wanna declare to the whole world that i am officially smitten to pieces by Ohkura....never has it occured to me that anyone can look so smexy and super duper hot while banging his heart out on the drums....kept watching their Do You Agree perf juz now....simply amazing....simply amazing....how i wish Ohkura's doppleganger is beside me right now...god knows what i'll do...ahh...simply can't get his solo out of my mind...beautiful beautiful solo...Butterfly I Love....strange title for a song, but wait till u hear the melody...its even better than his Mamoritai....

ahh...Blacque had fallen for the Drummer Boy...

2007-12-12T14:59:00.000+08:00

urm...here i am again...in the middle of the school library, writing my blog...albeit pathetic i muz add...

okay...i think i'm a lil too obssesed with my JE guys...been walking around and seeing JE look alikes everywhere...i was actually staring at one of the school admin staffs coz i think he looks like my latest heartthrob Ohkura...i'm the worst...seriously...

so if i am to count correctly, i have 3 JE look-alikes in school...Wth...i have crushes on the most weird guys possible...am i supposed to have crushes at this age even? wth...this is the reason why one shouldn't stay single for too long....

ytdy i was in a super hyper mood...i finally get around to do my POA exercises...i spent like 6 hours in wdlnds library for the first 3 chapters, and the result was super goood!!! everything balanced for the first time in my POA life!!! i must have looked damn silly, pumpin my fist in the air everytime i got them balanced...haha...POA is gonna be my fave subject i think...we'll see...the first 3 chps aren't that complicated u see...

ehh...my butt feels super tired now...been sitting on this chair since the past 3 hours....just waiting and waiting for Shige's SP to load fully...but up till now, i only manage to watch like only the first 8 minutes....wth...but it is to be expected ne? afterall, i spent 4 bludeh hours in this darned library just to watch 45 minutes of my Yukan Club....

okay...gotta go for OTIA...dang~ i haven't finish even 10 minutes of my Shige SP yo!!

2007-11-29T16:10:00.000+08:00

this is embarassing...writing your blog in school...but i've no other choice, so here it goes...

haha...i should be studying...really...where is the best place to study if not the library, right? but no....here i am, in the best environment and mood to study...and i'm stuck to the comp screen....for like the past 4 hours....since lunch...i'm the best....took me 4 hours to catch up with one 45-min episode of yukan club....oh well... at least i watched the one with Kei in it....*spazzing moment*

met up with RY for lunch juz now...so for awhile, that sad/disturbed feeling i've been feeling for the past few days was evaporated for a while...thank you brudder for bein lame when it comes to me...i'll look forward to our plan next week to meet up...

i think i'll be really meditating in front of the school comp the next few weeks....so much for using this no-comp time to study hard...blah!! i haven't even start studying for my 3 tests next week!! yabai ne? nvm...i shall try my best to do it...except i'm wondering how to do it in that nuthouse....maybe u'll see me meditating in woodlands library too...so anyone who wanna study, u are most welcome to join me there....and u'll probably end up looking at me sleep....

life without my comp is "killing" me faster than i thought...thank god for this school comp...

eh...i feel like eating cold soba and teriyaki unagi again....even better, i wanna eat onigiri...eh? its just onigiri, right? such a simple food, yet its setting my stomach on full growling mode....

sometimes i wish i can write as inspiringly as Pi...his entries...they are just amazing....noone can ever inspire me to fight on in life with so much positivism like he does...goodness...Pi is really the man....the only who can inspire and motivate me to study hard...just read another round of his journals...and now i'm dying to study my ME and OTIA....such profound impact....simply awesome....

i think from now onwards, i wanna end my blogs on a positive note too, if its possible....

so everyone, if you read my entry, please remember to do ur best in all you do...be it when you are mugging for that darned test, or you are taking a penalty kick, or simply trying to finish your mom's worst cooking ever, please do your best...you will definitely feel the rewards of satisfaction later....i shall promise to do my best too!! till my next meditation in front of the school comp, this is blacque signing off!!!

2007-11-12T21:15:00.000+08:00

HAHA!!

JUZ NOW I HAD THE BEST LUNCH IN SCHOOL!!!

seriously....for the first time in this year, i felt that lunchtime was a memorable one...

even now i wished i hadn't gone for ME....

coz even now i am still in a mood to fight.

YES!!

FIGHT!!

haha...i think Bethia would have written in her blog too...

okay...

this is what happened....

The three of us (me, bethia and ziwan) were looking for seats for lunch...and bethia was already in a mood to tell any NP students who crossed her path to get out of the way...(okay...get out of the seats...) of coz, i didn't think she was serious...

so we walked into the stinky cafe and saw a whole row of empty seats that was not booked...the only soul there was this girl who is clearly from NP coz she was looking in the NP direction everytime someone come by...

anyway, bethia was already in this complaining state, rolling her eyes at us as me and ziwan were laughing...she kept on going "whole row..??"...the thing i am wondering up till now is why didn't we budge from that place?....maybe Bethia was waiting to see if the NP frens will show up soon ( and i think she was meaning REALLY soon...)

during the whole time we were hanging around that row, i think at least 4-5 other groups of people came to the row, only to be deterred away by that NP girl who told them the whole row was booked...okay...so i admit...i wasn't that affected by the whole thing..i was more like "alright...why dun we juz look for other seats..?"...i wasn't thinking too much about it really...but i think both bethia and ziwan were ignoring me...so i stayed with them...

by then, i think we had caused quite a scene...coz i noticed this group of probably NP guys looking at us...moz probably they were also deterred off earlier by the NP girl...then, somehow two of them appeared in front of us...i think they were trying to act hero and help us tell the girl off...and i think that was the one that changed the whole course of events...

course of events (as i remember...not so accurate of coz...)

guy (talking to us): we came earlier juz now and she said the same thing...
NP girl: i'm sorry, but i came earlier and i've reserved the whole row..
bethia: whole row? WHOLE ROW? YOU BOOKED THE FRICKIN WHOLE ROW?? (voice rising)
NP girl: yes...i booked them for...
bethia (cuts in): where are your friends? i dun see them?! (looks around)
NP girl: they are coming soon...
bethia: where? i dun see them?! excuse me, but this is the PEAK HOUR lor! and you booked the WHOLE ROW??! (...i simply love the way she emphasized with a this-is-bludeh-incredulous rising voice everytime she said WHOLE ROW??...haha)
NP girl: but my friend might want to have an early lunch...
bethia: and you book the WHOLE ROW?? excuse me lor...SIM students have only half an hour of lunch and you are being inconsiderate by booking the WHOLE ROW lor!!
NP girl: i dun see why you have to shout at me...here i am trying to tell you nicely...
bethia (cuts off): because you booked the whole row!! I dun care (slams her notebook down on the table) I'm sitting here. (plops herself down in the chair)
NP girl: go ahead lor...if my friends come here, i'll move your bags away...
bethia: you can't lor (already fishing out for her wallet)
NP girl: try me
bethia: i dun care lor. i'm going to get my food now. (walks off)

yep...that was the conversation plus minus here and there...during the whole verbal onslaught, me and ziwan were juz standing there...absolutely stunned...of coz, by then, the people around us were already watching the whole show like we are in some Korean Drama like that...well, with bethia's voice rising like that, who wouldn't ne?

anyway, since she already plopped her bag down there, me and ziwan were like looking at each other with a stunned grin on our face....clearly we didn't expect bethia to really pick a fight with an NP student...and in the most classic bimbotic way too!! omg...u guys should have seen here...she was pure love i tell u!! so since we didn't have a choice, we plopped our bags down in that row...i was freely telling ziwan how i respect bethia for what she did without even trying to lower my voice...then i asked ziwan to go and buy first coz i only have that one muslim stall to choose from...

i tot the drama ended there, but then...

LUNCH (the MOVIE): PART 2...

NP girl (after telling YET another group that the row was occupied): (to me) i will really move your bags once my friend come...
me: i dun think u will do that
NP girl: i will lor
me: nah...
NP girl (to a group of 4 girls and a guy who had moved into the last two tables of the row while she was talking to me):i'm sorry, but i've booked the whole row
one of the girls: whole row?
NP girl: yes, whole row
other girl: ohh...(moves out with her whole group, but hung around at my table which was at the outside end of the row)
NP girl (to a guy and a girl who moved in around the same time to the last table in the row around the same time as the earlier group move out): i'm sorry, but i booked the whole row...(she kept on using the bludeh sentence? can't she be a lil bit more original??!)
guy partner: whole row? (notice any similarity here...?)
NP girl: yes, whole row....
guy partner: oh...(starts to move out of the row and was walking in front of me, when i cut in...)
me (pointing to the table between ours and the NP girl): this seat is not taken (cheeky grin)
guy partner: (rather quickly putting his books down) oh, not taken?thanks...
NP girl (glaring at me then turning to the the guy): sorry, this seat is taken too...
me (cuts in): come on lah....how selfish can you get? SIM students only have half an hour of lunch lor and here you are booking the whole frickin row during the peak hour....
NP girl: what if my friends wanna have early lunch?
me (cut in): thats not the point, isn't it? come on lah...we only have half an hour of lunch lor...its only a short while lor....
guy (to NP girl): uh, we'll eat only for 15 minutes (goes on to explain to the girl...)

i wasn't listening to his explanation coz i was making funny faces at the bunch of 4 girls and a guy who were still there, whispering among themselves about the whole scene...clearly they were dissatisfied as well....so i saw my chance there...i caught one of the girl's eyes and began mouthing at her to "dun care...juz seat juz seat....dun wurry....juz ignore her...)

i think it worked coz by the time i turned to see the guys finish explainin to the NP girl, the five has started moving back in to the last 2 tables they wanted to occupy juz now...and the drama continues...

LUNCH (the MOVIE): PART 3...

NP girl (to the group of 5): uhh, sorry, this seat is taken....
Guy: i'm sorry lor, but i dun see ur frens around
NP girl: they are coming very soon
Guy: i dun care lor, but u can't book the whole row lor (voice rising)
NP girl (i think she shud be extremeply pissed off by now): but i came here first lor
Guy: I dun care lor (puts his bag down and takes out his wallet)
NP girl: then once my frens come i'll move your bag out lor
Guy: i dun care! i'm gonna buy my food and seat here. see if you can move me!! (stomps off to buy his food)

thru out part 3, i was making silly faces to my friend in another row who was turning back (like all the other people were doing to see what the commotion is about...) one girl who was sitting at the table right in front of me caught me doin the silly face and burst out laughing...when i saw her lookin at me, i made that silly face again and the whole group burst out laughing..clearly they too think that the NP girl is bein very silly for fighting a lost case...

and, OF COZ, that was the end of LUNCH (the MOVIE)

the NP girl gave up in the end, with a very pissed off face

thru out the whole drama, i kept this mischievious-devilish grin that i know will piss her off more than she already is...even thru out part 2, as i was talking to her, i gave her this 'you are so ridiculous' grin....of coz, for those of you who knows me, that was also my pissed-off grin....

well, her friends eventually came....AFTER my group and the other group all bought our food...she booked the whole row, but only a pathetic 3 came lah...the moment they arrived, she started bitching in a loud voice that was meant for us to hear...she was like "dun do that lah..i am SUPER IRRITATED now!!"...she shud be...the 3 of us were clearly bitchin about her...we put on our best bitch armour and made it clear to her that we were talking about how inconsiderate and ridiculous she is...

when she finally moved off (haha!! she lost!!! like duhh....) she said in an extremely loud voice "I DUN WANT TO STAY AROUND THESE BARBARIC BITCHES AND BASTARDS!!" which made her look even stupider, coz all of us juz ignored her...so she looked like she was getting mad by herself...

as she walked off, i gave a final shout "eh? not booking the whole row arh?" she muz be seething if she managed to hear that...haha...i had to say it...i was already in full fighting mode by then...i think if she comes back to slap me (which i wished she had done....), i would have gone into a fray very gleefully....like i said, i was spoiling for a fight....

and i still am...even thru out the first part of ME lecture, i was still in super-excited fighting mode....

haha...

so that was the story of my most eventful lunch in SIM...

now back to my bludeh OTIA assignment....

2007-11-10T23:45:00.000+08:00

i'm tired of this blog page....

my Akame had died...

no more Akame love coz its now KoKame and Jinno love...

wth...

we fangurls are having fun making names for the pairings in KAT-TUN right now...

MaruDa seemed very weird to me coz Maru is not the pairing kind...

so when i read fanfics about Maru, i cringe...

he is too straight...

i can't even remember him doin fanservice...

maybe he dun do fanservice at all....

i'll probably die from laughter if i see Maru doin fanservice...

he is juz not cut out for it like Jin or Kame...or even Ueda...

well, now i'm anticipating Yukan's episode 6....

Kei is gonna be in it...

meaning its gonna be a JE-whoring episode...

and i'll be concrete-glued to my comp screen...

house on fire...?

i'll escape after i finished watching that episode....

bludeh hell...

NewS, Kanjani and KAT-TUN guys rolled into 1 episode...

its sweeet i tell u, its sweeeeeeeet.....

of coz u guys dun understand the significance of this, coz u guys dun like what i like....

probably u guys are wondering why the hell do i write these stuffs in here....?

its my blog, dammit...

i'll write what i like...

anyway, no one comes to read here....

so its my place all the way....

Kurosagi is gonna be out on March next year...

if i ever get to see Pi on posters here in Singapore, i'll do an amazing feat for you...

i'll kiss the poster for you...

okay.....maybe...

coz i'm thinking about the yucky side of kissing the poster....

but if Pi comes down to singapore to promote the movie (most unlikely....), i'll skip school for as long as he is still on our grounds....

i'll change my profession from student to a stalker....

i'll scream and shout his name in a frantic manner....

it'll probably be the only time you'll ever get to see me so crazed....

but since he'll never come down here, u'll never get to see me in that state...

so haha...

Kurosagi, I come with the Rain, Honey and Clover, Hana Yori Dango....

so many movies waiting for me....

so little money....

MU is killing the life out of me...

how the hell do u d/l from that bludeh server...??

i juz posted a complain on my forum...

hopefully the regulars will answer...

i'm a big shot in that forum ne?

which is not good sometimes....

coz being a big shot sometimes means people suck up to you...

and being a big shot also means you can't run away from the number of people who are desperate to get you on their buddy list, hoping that it'll make them look good....

wth....suckers...

and i juz realised part of the reason why some people kept on trying to add me....

one of the regulars listed me under his 'top ten cool people' to add on CR....

i din know i'm that cool...

its flattering, but deleting and rejecting up to 5 buddy requests everytime i log on to CR can be tiring sometime...

especially when i log on up to three times a day....

of coz there are those who added me thru my video uploads....

and then they bug me to upload more videos....

i'll juz delete these buddy whores....

maybe i should be like Laurel....

she deletes them till there is only 10 left....

lucky i'm in the ten....

if not, i'll truly miss my stealth bomber...

yatta....my part 2 of Byakkotai had finally finished....

gonna upload it to my Zen and watch it after i finish reading my OTIA notes....

bludeh assignment....

dang~

oh well...i juz realised its 11/11/07....

Happy 20th Birthday Tesshi....

You'll always be the cutest 15 years old to me...

2007-11-08T22:46:00.000+08:00

uhh...

i'm counting down to the days when i'm finally kicked out of my house...

and i wun be connected to the net anymore...

somehow it feels like losing a husband....

coz i'm married to my computer....

how pathetic can i get...?

but life is like that....

suddenly i'm missing having a fun life with a bunch of classmates...

the one good thing about having classmates is that you dun have to search for new friends...

they are there, dumped into one class...

readily provided for your....

a lil like Maggi mee...

ready to eat in a jiffy....

except that such instant friendships sometimes means temporary friendship too...

you cook maggi mee in two minutes...

and it'll be gone in the next 15 minute....

and you'll be hungry again in the next one hour....

so, sometimes its best to spend one hour making your favourite spaghetti sauce...

savour it over half an hour...

and be full for the next four hours....

did you get what i'm saying?

my cousin complained that my blog entries are incomprehensible...

she thinks i'm juz blabbering...crapping away...

but the truth is, you gotta read deeper than that...

my entries are rhetorical...

its more fun to put down what you went thru in a different perspective...

otherwise, life is boring....

the blog will be boring....

i wouldn't care much for the daily reports of a person...

its how the person writes it....

thats the fun part....

i think i'll contact grace and ry for lunch next week...

when was the last time i had lunch with them...?

i wonder if things will still be the same....

maybe we wun be such a lame bunch anymore...

maybe i will try too hard to go back to the lame days that they will find me beyond silly...

maybe i will not try at all and things will seem cool between the three of us....

maybe....

maybe....

maybe....

life is so full of maybe's...

its sickening sometimes....

i'm jumping topics like hell here....

no wonder my poor cousin finds my entries so confusing....

right now i'm downloading as much jdramas as possible...

hopefully enough to last me for the month when i'll be a temporarily single...

having an affair with the school comp...

i'll be spending a lot of time in the school library next month...

a temporary fling....

please comp, dun die out on me juz becoz i'm overloading you with downloads right now and having an affair with the school comp next month...

you are still my favourite saviour...

mainly becoz you are holding to my countless numbers of software....

which reminds me....

i have to complete constructing my other blog soon....

the blog that you people wun ever visit coz you dun like the things that i like....

wait...

does anyone visit this blog even?

am i the only one rambling alone....

muz be...

i went on a blog hiatus for so long, you people muz have thought this blog is dead...

i too think that this blog should juz die off....

until i started messing around with the settings again...

i'm finding it very very fun making stuffs online...

amvs, icons, avatars....

of coz you guys wun understand....

our lives are different ne...?

oh well...after i finish constructing my other blog, u guys wun have to endure my ramblings about my JE guys anymore....

how sad...

2007-11-07T23:07:00.000+08:00

its the worst day of this sem...and the worst part is it started off as a very good day...

i forgot to hand in my ME assignment again. i might as well forget about it...

but worst...

i left my fulscap under the table...

its the worst...

i'm the worst...

and i see someone i dun ever wanna see again...

wassup with this shitty day...??!!

2007-10-25T23:49:00.000+08:00

Weeeek

Monday has begun
Throughout all the days that follow
I long for the weekend, but it's so far away
When I get used to Tuesday and Wednesday
It seems like the fake smile on my face has gotten a cramp!?

By the time I realise it, it's Thursday, and it's extremely important
Because I still
Don't have plans for what I'll do tomorrow night
I'll think about it the whole day on Friday
And I'll break through those walls and grasp my freedom
Just surviving day after day clouds my heart
But if you give up upon your wandering heart
Then that's where you'll lose, so let's just take it easy

Ack! I've fallen into a pattern that I just can't break out of
I've got loads to do, but I don't feel like doing anything at all!
With only 4 hours of sleep per day
I pour everything into maintaining this kind of stamina everyday
What does it mean to be an adult?
If we keep up our appearances as we are now,
What will be look like after 35?
Will we become cool adults?
Just surviving day after day clouds my heart
But we still have to go through those days
It's fine if you take it slowly, just don't give up
Because in time we'll definitely be able to get through this!!

In these days that keep repeating themselves over and over
These feelings that have no place to go
Keep turning round and round and make me dizzy
We've got to swim through these feelings everyday
But we won't forget to keep laughing as we go
One more time!

From tomorrow
It's Sunday, Monday and Tuesday once again
See, when you turn around it's Wednesday and Thursday
Then Friday, Saturday and Sunday
Let's treasure these
Dream days as we go
One more time!
From tomorrow
It's Sunday, Monday and Tuesday once again
See, when you turn around it's Wednesday and Thursday
Then Friday, Saturday and Sunday
We'll make sure to enjoy each day to it's fullest!

2007-07-28T02:11:00.000+08:00

from last saturday till now, i've made 3 different trips to the A&E department of Changi General Hospital. It all started with a sudden bad case of tonsillitis. so i cudn't eat, which leaves my stomach empty and full of wind...to add to that, i had fever that fluctuate from 38 degrees celsius to 39.6 degree celsius within half an hour. and because i vomited anything i ate for 2 nights straight, i had to go to A&E...there the doctor gave me an injection to stop my vomiting...then i had to stay in the observation room for 1 hour.Fever was still high at 39.1, but my stomach is okay now...so i was sent off with some antibiotics and tablets to keep me from vomiting...so the next day i started the anti-vomiting tablet. i took 3 doses, with the last one being right before dinner. halfway through my dinner, i realized that i cannot control my jaws to chew the food. eversince morning, i felt that my jaw felt really weird...my tongue also felt swollen, but i didn't suspect anything...it was only when i'm halfway thru my dinner that i felt that there was something extremely weird with my jaw movement...i had to abandon my dinner halfway coz my teeth were already grinding...around 30 minutes later, while watching national treasure, i realized that my teeth were grinding really badly. It was only then did i realize i cudn't open my mouth at all...i was experiencing 'locked jaw'....one of the scariest experience of my life...coz my tongue was stuck on the roof of the mouth and whenever i tried to lick my lips to wet it, my jaw will snap back...it was a good thing my tongue did not get cut off in the process. so off i go to CGH's A&E department one more time. i was treated as an emergency case coz when you have locked jaw, its possible that you panic and will not be able to breath...for me, breathing thru my nose is already difficult...if they did not put me as an emergency case, i think i can die...when i walked into the doctor's room, she was giving me an amused look. coz usually, locked jaw means your mouth is hanging open with your tongue stuck on the roof of the mouth. also, locked jaws are more common to children than young adults. the doctor told me i was one of the rare cases, looking at my age. so once again i was sent off to the observation room and was given an injection. within minutes, my jaw could move as per normal again.when the doctor came in, she interviewed me...turns out that i'm allergic to the anti-vomiting drug the previous doctor gave me. what luck, discovering you have a drug allergy after 21 years of living...so now i have to quote 2 drug allergies to any doctor instead of 1...G6PD and Maxolon...then the doctor who treated me for the locked jaw prescribed a medication to get rid of any Maxolon residues in my body. the prescription is only for 2 days.the first 2 dosages, i felt fine, but on the 3rd dosage i realize that my vision is blurring.but i thought it was normal coz i dun wear specs at home unless needed.it was on the 4th dosage did i realize that the blurring of vision is not the usual. the closer i bring my hand to my face, the blur effect worsens...without my spec, sharpness is only regained when i put my hand 15cm away from my face. but with my specs, even 15cm away from my face, the vision is still blurred. so off i went to CGH's A&E for the 3rd time.turns out that the doctor treating me was the other one in the room when i came for my locked jaw. when she saw me, she immediately recognized me and asked if my locked jaw is ok...it was a lil embarassing to be recognized for my locked jaw, but i guz nothing can be done since i was one of the rare young adults who had locked jaw...bound to leave some sort of impression on the doctors who treated me...anyway, after explaining the blurness, the doctor sent for an eyecheck. she said it was okay and was a lil stumped by my illness. so she gave me an appointment to the eye specialist centre instead. since the appointment was the next day, it meant i had to go to CGH 4 times this whole week. even the eye specialist was a little stumped by my condition. she did all sorts of eye check and found nothing wrong with my eye. i told her i'm sure it was because of the anti-vomiting medicine coz i did my research in the internet prior to coming for the appointment.and one of the side-effects of the anti-vomiting med was blurred vision. it was only after she sent me off to have my eyes checked on that number thingy did she come into the room and confirmed that my information was correct. only after that did she told me that the pupils of my eye were unusually dilated.turns out that the anti-vomiting medicine contains a substance that cause the pupil of the eye to dilate. thus, my iris couldn't adjust itself to the situation properly, making my vision when looking at near stuffs very blurred. and because my spectacles were of specific degrees, the inability to look at near stuffs was very prominent and made worse. thus, i had to take off my specs when looking at near stuffs and put it back on when i'm looking at far away stuffs. very troublesome indeed. since nothing can be done about the vision except wait for a few days, i went home and had to squint at near things until now...the side effects did not seem to be any better yet, so i guess i'll have to wait for a few more days. the eye specialist also put some eye dropper for me that caused my eyes to smart and tear...only when i got back home did i realize the eye dropper she put for my stained the area around my eye yellow...it was almost as if she put iodine into my eyes coz i remember getting my hand stained yellow when i was handling iodine in chemistry and bio lab...so now i'm walking around with yellow stains around my eyes that refused to disappear even after washing it so many times...i guess i'll have to be a yellow panda these few days...anyone got bamboo shoots for me?

2007-06-16T02:55:00.000+08:00

Currently uploading Letters from Iwo Jima on CR...sometimes i wonder why i wanna go so far for the community at that website...uploading an episode takes a really long time....uploading a movie like LfIJ is totally @#$!%&^*!!....well, u can imagine....and i'm not even doing it to increase my CR points or anything...okay...so an increase in ur CR points look very pretty indeed...and seeing 30+ uploads under ur profile is impressive enough as it is...but really...those points....i can juz gain from the GBs and forums since i'm getting so much mail everyday and i really can't leave my thread in peace without posting to the JEtizens' replies every now and then...and there are actually people who upload 100+ files....like "WHOAAA!!"...

so there is really no incentives for me to actually pitch ALL my effort in ACTUALLY LOOKING for vids to upload...but then i saw the comments on some of my vid uploads....those people really feel grateful for someone to upload those vids....and it juz brings a warm feeling to ur heart to actually read those "thank you for uploading this vid!!" messages...like i've somehow made their day better when they watched those videos i uploaded...

and i've just seen the comments people wrote on the first part of LfIJ within minutes of it being approved...those crunchyrollers have justified my uploading...thank you ppl...its really a great feeling to actually contribute to the community...i really love that place a lot...found a great bunch of friends from places i dun think i'll ever visit...maybe my increasing involvement on CR myt lead me to become a forum mod sumeday...O_o.

..already i'm discussing about forming a subbing team with mochacafe...i'm reali convinced kie can be our translator and me and mocha and maybe a few others can divide the rest of the job between us...it'll probably take a long time to actually come up with a subbing team, but i'm maji convinced we can do it...juz the smal clips of coz...probably will try to PM someone who subbed before to get some tutorials from them...or juz get em online...sheesh!!i'm getting a lil overzealous here ne? lolz!!

i think i've sussed myself out from this entry...exactly what a ranting is supposed to do...ii ne?

2007-06-13T02:32:00.000+08:00

what a ghost town this blog had become...i think i'll juz update once a month...i'm too busy being stuck on crunchyroll everytime i log on to the comp...it suxs actually...my thread is moving at a freakingly rapid rate there...i think we will hit 1000 posts before the forum party...as the thread starter, i'm juz basking in all the glory...unlike many other JE fandom sites, we actually manage to clinch in 3 guys...i tot it was quite amazing...coz fanguys are a very rare breed...

i need to update my lj soon!!! my fanfic had been on hold long enuf...muz find the time to actually sit down and type...i wrote the draft for ryo yesterday, and it seem maji long...more than a page long...i guz the parts will get longer as the story evolves ne? wat a drag....

i'm currently looking for 1 LoT SP subs....stupid me bought the SP without looking at the subs...chinese subs!! thank god its only RM10...i wun be able to live the shame if its RM40...tot i'd juz fish around for the koiku softsubs and then dabble with vobsub and vdub...if only i can get my hands on the kioku registration button...

eversince i dabbled around with vdub and photoshop imageready, i seem to be producing animated avi avatars like a factory...i've got a few stuck up in my d drive that i've yet come around to start using coz that darned cr can't animate my avis...dang!! and they were beautiful clips i swear!!! i only managed to use "koichi rejected" and "pop goes the jin"...funny names for my avatars...too bad i cudn't use 'yorokobi no uta' and 'ryolicious' and '99% liberty'...i think i'll upload them on my other blog (which is still under construction....)...maybe my lj too...too beautiful not to share...plus its really easy to make...i can produce an avi in the space of 3 minutes, depending on the size of the clip and how long it takes my comp to load the pics...uwaaahhhh!!!

since i last posted, i've moved from akame to yamapi to tesshi to yoko to koichi to shige and now to ryo...altho its pretty much ry vs shige ryt now...shige and his faux hawk *faints*...ryo in sexy black *faints*...why are all the good looking guys stuck in japan???!!!

will be planning the.... *counts finger*...6th cuzin outing next week...fil had been *poking* me for the ice-skating that i had promised to organize...a promise is a promise after all ne? juz hope they'd all be free...

okay...juz a preview of my ryolicious avi...ryouki say he look funny in the pic...i agree with him...but i think he look sexy in that hat too....

*makes me wanna glomp him off my screen*

2007-05-20T00:40:00.000+08:00

it was the worst defeat ever. Coz in my eyes and the rest of the world saw the ball went OVER the line. The only blind people are the referee and the rest of all who are associated with Chelsea. Cech cheated. and i hope someone will break Drogba's leg so he can't play next season. Then we can show Chelsea who's the real boss.

I'm not delusional

Manchester United HAD Won The 2007 FA Cup

its only too bad they were denied by a blind person....

2007-05-07T01:06:00.001+08:00

i don't believe this...my dashboard is STILL cocked up!!

oh well...i panicked today...realized that jc hypothesis testing and uol hypothesis testing have different methods...and the paper is in 3 days time...ARGH!!!!WHY AM I EVEN HERE????!!!

okay...i'll just keep it real short then...

CONGRATULATIONS TO MY DEAREST MANCHESTER UNITED!!! THE RED DEVILS ARE PREMIERSHIP CHAMPIONS OF 2006/2007...

and thank you arsenal for holding chelsea to that tie...

Jose Mourinho, your Premiership Dreams are OVER.

GET A LIFE.

jaa....*goes off to whack on the econs notes*

2007-05-05T06:13:00.000+08:00

whoa....my dashboard cocks up!!! but still can type...wonder if this is a temporary glitch....if not, it truly sucks...big time...

i've been extremely vain these past 2 days...if before this my hairstyle moved from jerry yan to ueda to kame to koki to junno to kame again...this time i can't decide between sasuke and cloud...and i actually took it from takki...which is similar to tego's...and it will grow out to be either like golf's or mike's....believe me...when you stare into the mirror too much, you'll start to think that you look like some famous celeb...its a great feeling oight...the downside...? only you see it that way...others will simply think you are seriously delusional...

i really really feel like writing some crap right now....lemme see...oh...i had my last lesson of year 1 just now...that means i won't get to eat my chicken cutlet with american bbq sauce for the next 3 months...bleah...should have eaten it just now....

i still feel like writing crap...hmm....

consumer surplus is the net benefit consumers gain when they pay more cheaply for units of a good than they are willing to pay....

just testing if i can remembeer what i wrote 9 times ytdy...i doubt its word for word accurate still....

aiba masaki vs kangaroo had me laughing real hard just now...come to think of it, i've been able to laugh on my own just by thinking about those funny clips that i watched recently...it'll be real bad if i got caught laughing by myself in the public....

jin did not talk to avril on dat-tun5....which sucks...coz i've been hoping for some jingrish....but junno made up for it with his engrish...."haro!"....LOL!!! if only avril will stop lookin so bored...weirdest ep ever...maybe coz of the communication breakdown....but i want the yukata they gave her!!! its so nice....even though its pink and black....i wonder if taguchi, maru and ueda designed it....?

these week i've been pretty smitten with domoto koichi...his funny personality when hosting domoto kyoudai....makes me laugh when i dun even understand a single thing...funny personality seem to be an important criteria to me lately...i wonder if....

oh well....i like my Prince right now...Prince domoto koichi...man...i think i will just glomp him if i ever see him...keyword = 'IF'....i wanna glomp the whole bunch if possible, but if pi were to appear wif jin or takki and display mabudachi love, i think i'll cry openly....

my train of thoughts are getting as erratic as kame's j-web entry...i think i should stop now....

final word to brudder...your man u - ac milan report...some of the lines looked darned familiar to me...especially in the first paragraph....i wonder where i see them before....? hurhur....

its not funny....stop the snitch

sumeh....jaa....

2007-05-03T04:29:00.000+08:00

My Man U was outclassed this morning...i'm not even gonna wait till the final whistle to write this entry...its the 86th minute and they are frickin 3-0 down...denied the european cup once again in the last stumble...a far cry from their performance against Inter Milan... AC Milan is definitely gonna beat the crap out of Liverpool in Athens if they keep this form up...AC Milan is really the bane of Man U on European soil...my predictions for the next few years is that unless they can manage to avoid AC Milan at any stage, Man U shouldn't even try dreaming of lifting the coveted European Cup... and Kaka...he's truly THE devil that made the night hellish for the Red Devils....

A TREBLE DENIED....

A NIGHT TO CRY FOR ALL MAN UTD FANS....

i shouldn't have laughed so much at Chelsea yesterday afterall....

2007-04-30T04:58:00.000+08:00

kya!!
its just so funny.
I can stay up late till 7 am even though i've been sleeping for only a few hours for the past few nights, and yet i can't open my eyes for nuts in the afternoons...i'll be sleeping or zombie-ing away thru out my whole day and once night comes, it suddenly feels as if all my energy rushes back to me...
dame dame...my world is truly upside down, ne?
and i don't even have to be in love to be able to do that....
wait...
i am in love...
with my jap idols...
so much that its teetering on the edge of an obssession...
dame dame....
demo, taihen da ne?
atashi wa dai suki ano ga japanese idols...
hontou ni DAI SUKI!!!
aishiteru yo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haiz...tegoshi....
who would have thought you'd turn from a boy into a man within a span of 1 month?
and a very sexy one too....
absolutely delicious~~

*Kaerimichi no Love Song*

2007-04-28T02:10:00.000+08:00

i think i can give up trying to change my blogskin for now...better to wait till exams are over...the other blog is giving me a headache too...i dunno which is worse...constructing your own blog or editting someone else's skin....either way, i'm down to the shits....blog-wise and exam-wise....basically, my life is in the dumps right now...

hah...so much for me wanting to emulate pi's positive attitude that practically energizes you thru his nikki....i guess i'm a pessimist after all...but i will try...

i have 5 papers in the next 4 weeks ....in that span of time, i also have 2 animes, 1 entertainment show, 5 (and very soon 6) JDoramas, 2 jwebs and 2 forums to keep up with....

humans are said to be rational beings...thus, in this case, the paper will take precedence over the self-entertainment...but since human rationality is only an assumption, that means the probability of irrationality is still there...and so, taking this into account, self-entertaiment will go on as per normal, but with reduced hours...I'm sure i can study something even then...

dun blame me...when ur THAT stuck on CR, you can only be half-rational...the other half is lost, along with the brain cells dissolving away as the hours of sleep dissolves away too...i wonder if only 80% of my brain is left in my skull...? nah....that will be spinocerrebral atrophy...

There You Go!! See? i'm not kidding you when i say Jdoramas can teach you something...hence my rational-half of the argument is justified.

What about the irrational-half you say?

Well...this whole entry is an epitome of my irrationality, isn't it?
Its a sign that i badly need some sleep.
Thats it.
Case Closed.

2007-04-27T05:22:00.000+08:00

I'm having class in 3.5 hours time...meaning i hafta wake up in 1 hr time...no point in sleeping then...kinda reluctant to write in here actually...3mths of hiatus,and suddenly i'm weaned off from blogging...if theres anything to it, it just help me hone my english vocab here and there...but definitely not the grammer...never the grammer...

oh well...i'm gonna change my skin real soon...i'm moving all my media to another blog, so you wun hafta hear (read?) me ranting about my Jap idols on and on and on...i'll do my own "shiok sendiri" moment in that other blog...the other blog is also under construction, so until that one is completed, then this one will change...

actually i dunno why i said that...its not important whether the other blog is completed or not...

by the way, i'll change this blog and have a freakingly simple skin...been surfing thru blogskin for days now, and had collected quite a few skins that is according to what i want...but still contemplating if i should just painstakingly make one...haiz...my lj skin is so nice...too bad i can't transport it here...

and since my other blog is not complete yet, you guys will hafta bear with my rantings of my jap idols for awhile...hell...why am i even apologizing? its my blog damn it!

uh.One litre of tears...it truly sucks...coz it makes me cry so much until my eyes wanna pop out...its literally sucking my eyeballs out of my socket...good thing i decide not to watch it from my handphone (i loaded it onto my handphone so i can watch it while im outside and bored)...can you imagine people's reactions when the girl next/opposite them in train suddenly start sobbing and reaching for tissue after tissue while staring at her handphone held horizontally?? the only possible pros i can predict is that someone will offer me their seat upon seeing that...well, i was really close to making that fatal error, ne?

meanwhile, now that jin is back, akame love is prominent once again...a far cry from the period before he left...jin lookin genki finally...kame is fatter, but looks better actually...pi is all soft and sexy with his brown hair...and lately, i'm into tego and ryo as well...tego...i really wanna kiss him, tho not as much as i wanna kiss pi's lips...pi's lips look so soft and inviting, they can make me go crazy...and recently i'm into jin's and pi's weird-but-sexy habit of playing with their lips...it looks sexy on them, but me doin it? ppl myt think i'm havin toffee stuck between my teeth or something...the thing is, i dun even realize i was doin it!! i actually CAUGHT myself doin it!! what was i thinkin...??

okay.i feel weird writing all this here...for the past 3 mths, my life was practically based on cr...and i found really great friends there...and since majority are JE fans, i felt damn happy ranting and venting about JE stuffs on my gb and the JE Fandom thread that i started...yeah...i'm now a friggin forumer as well...been forum-hopping for quite sometime...and been meddling with some photoshops and makin some fairly decent DB avatars...not pro lookin, but it gathers my DB in one place...discovic and riana and mochacafe and xxmurasakixx and promisingone...they are my fellow KAT-TUN fans, so chatting with them had been real nice...we celebrated a few important dates awhile back altho most of them are half a world away from me...i dun even noe whats the city of poland!! but we manage to communicate and share the same tots and raves on a few (a lot actually) japanese idols...oh...and the celebrations were damn hyper, altho its on a friggin gb...but we can imagine everyone jumping up and down and xrying their eyes out and screaming/squealing....okay...most of you wun get it coz u dun understand crazy fangurl mode...haiz...you hafta be a JE fangurl to understand this level of fangurlin...otherwise, u are simply thinkin that i had gone nuts since i went on hiatus....BLEAH!!

anyway, that was then when the wonders of technology suddenly struck me...coz it occured to me that just 12 years ago, i was watching my aunt writing penpal letters to her friends in africa and korea and god-knows-where...and it'll take months for the reply to come back...and now, 12 years later, i'm replying to someone in poland london and nyc in a matter of minutes...in that span of 12 years, i grew up and so many things had happened and changed...does it feel like the change is too fast for you?

heck...what am i saying? just 3 mths of no blogging, and theres a huge gap between this entry and the last one before i left....

by the way, because of those 3 mths of hiatus, i've gone back to diary-keeping...backdated, retro, outdated, low-tech diary-keeping where you hafta lock it and then hide it from prying eyes...and the results were amazing!! i've went from impersonal blogging style to highly personal rantings and ventings in there...and the best part, it actually helped me calm down and sort my tots out wif the no-bars-held style in some incredulous moments during the past 3 mths...hah...sometimes the old ones are the best...

ok...i think my dad just woke up...tata for now then...

2007-04-21T01:48:00.000+08:00

Konbanchiwa!! Hisashiburi ,ne? Yappari...After 3 months...I'm finally back again...Many had happened...Many had changed...Those 3 months are recorded in my diary...but they will stay there...For me, a memory keep-sake...Minna-san, tadaima...

Akanishi-kun mo, okaeri...Nani kangaeten no? haha...anata no hiatus ii desu ka? mo ii yo...sore kiite ureshii da...KAT-TUN ni kaerimasu, ne? mata ka member ai to mabudachi ai, ne?so da...genki dashite!! nantoka naru yo! sendai to tokyo dome concert...yoroshiku ganbarimasu!! haha....atashi wa akanishi-kun ga aitakatta....honto ni...sore wa...ja...

2007-01-14T18:54:00.000+08:00

yesterday i read in a forum...you guys noe how jin and kame are best friends ryt?well, apparently they had a huge fight sum tym back...all bcoz jin was goin out wif kame's ex-girlfriend...and kame was furious...madly jealous, needless to say...jin to the brunt of it, and it didn't reali help that the rest of kat-tun were against jin goin out wif her either...so for a while, akame was seen standing far apart during shows...this went on until the producers finally get the both of them to apologize to each other with a handshake during one of the
live shows...however, things return back to normal only after jin broke up with her and kame find himself a new girlfriend...heh...so even best buddies celebs fight over this kind of things...heh...wat a point to make indeed...
by the way, click on the song "tears" by x japan on the left...its a sad sad song that is perfect for a rainy day...heh...seems like today's weather suits my mood to the core...i heard the song last nyt and i was moved to tears...dun even noe wats wrong wif me...heh...i tink i dun even noe myself anymore...
finally...the main reason im writing this entry...is to announce that i will be on hiatus from chatting on msn and blogging...i noe its kinda sudden...even im surprised tat i will actuali come to this decision...i dunno if i can make it, but it seems tat i need to retreat to my shell for awhile...and probably use the time to concentrate on studying...it seems that i've been online too much...so dun u all worry bout me...i'll be back after a few months...heh...its juz a study hiatus...my tentative date of returning depends on when jin will come back from his study break...i'll return around there...in the mean tym, dun u all miz me yea?haha...and brudder, u gonna hafta watch soccer alone frm nw on...im not loggin in to msn anymore...heh...dun miz me too much...
haiz....so this is where it ends...or starts rather...ciaoz people~~

2007-01-13T18:48:00.000+08:00

Click on the music on the left!!!its my current favourite song....by yamapi and kame...makes me wanna dance...the intro sounds like a jame bond ost ryt?haha...its from the jdorama "nobuta wo produce"...tell you...its a hell good jdorama...i said that i din reali understand the first epi ryt?now im in the 3rd epi and im stuck like hell!!!it gets better n better as the show progress i tell you!!!the only downside is that youtube doesnt upload this jdorama...ok...sumbody did,but unless u can read the spanish subbs, u wun reali understd wat they are saying...reali makes me wanna up my jap lessons...argh!!!so currently im watching it on crunchyroll...but the uploading is like sooooooooo daaaaaaaaaaaamn sloooooooooooooow....n im gettin more and more impatient...i wonder if its part of their conspiracy to get me to contribute to their bandwidth...urgh!!!cheaterers...playin dirty i tell you!!!humph!well,i guz i will juz haf to wait for the 1 hr+ long episode to load for a span of 2 hrs juz to satisfy this addiction to jdoramas...of coz it doesn't help tat these jdoramas are damn hell gd...god...i wish they will juz do a live streaming of all the jap tv stations sumwhere!!!argh!!!!...well...i guz i'm pretty done wif venting my frust here...back to crunchyroll....

My Third Skin...

2007-01-12T19:07:00.000+08:00

Yeay!!!My third skin!!!And this time, i made everything myself!!!...okay lah...i cope the html from another blog...coz i dun really noe how to write them...but other then that,I DID EVERYTHING MYSELF...yep yep...u can be sure of that...how to confirm?...Juz look at the background wallpaper...Amatuerish isn't it?a bit on the messy side too...That's coz i did it using windows Paint...so its nothing compared to those pro blogskins created using photoshop...but I like it, since its an Akame skin...and i cudn't find any other Akame skin on blogskin...I actually spent the whole of yesterday night from 11pm to 5.30am and today 1pm till 7.15pm doin it...Searching for pics,html codes,icons...Tough work!!!But its okay...I'm satisfied...Juz another way for me to emphasise on my Akame love....okay la...im a terrible show off, am i not?...hehe...still, help me rate my first skin ya?maybe on a scale of 1-5...?hehe...go tag,go tag!!!

2007-01-11T23:14:00.000+08:00

finally...as i had promised...the much anticipated reveal of the loves of my life (...i noe, i noe,i'm overdoin it...but juz for show can?)...
presenting to you....*drumrolls*
AKAME!!!

yes...two hot bishounens who are making me all crazy and drooly at the moment...
they are members of the JPop boyband, KAT-TUN...akame is their surname combined...AKAnishi jin and KAMEnashi kazuya...first saw them in gokusen 2...and yep...they are best friends,both in reel life and real life...cute huh?...

Bishie #1

KAMENASHI KAZUYA a.k.a Kame

Hot isn't he?I noticed him before Jin b'coz he was the first student that Yankumi handled in Gokusen 2...at first i don't really see him as cute or attractive at all...i was more taken by the other 2 casts, take and tsuchi...but then he began to catch my attention as he played this cool,brooding character named ryu odagiri...then i searched for his solo,Kizuna on youtube...and i was blown away...maybe the beautiful song helped add to the attractiveness of this pretty boy, but i was already in love with him by then...in KAT-TUN, he is the youngest member at 20 (ehem ehem....so am i...)...and he is one of the lead singer together with Jin, but his vocals are only great as compared to Jin's...tho he is kind of skinny, he still manage to catch my interest...haha...i'm currently watching another jdorama that he acted in, the very popular Nobuta wo Produce...the storyline is a bit fuzzy to me, but i'll continue to watch coz of all the reviews the show received...and more importantly,coz bishie Kame is in it...

BISHIE # 2

AKANISHI JIN

Now he is the truly the sexy one that is making me drool all the time...and when i say sexy, i really mean SEXY...coz he's a natural when it comes to flirting in front of the camera...there was this one kat-tun clip i found in youtube and they were singing Real Face live...then there was a part in the song where there's a pause and they click their tongue...the camera was focusing on jin at this point...and he juz look at the camera in all his sexiness, winked as he clicked his tongue and continued...i died back then, brutally melted like hot lava and blown into tiny misty droplets by that one sexy gesture...and i think he will continue murdering me that way if i watch that clip again...the thing about jin is that he is not the cool, macho guy like kame...he is more effiminate(if that was how it is spelt)...and thus he has the charm to melt the hearts of women around the world...i've visited different forums regarding akame, and he is definitely the more popular one of the two...although i find it weird to see a guy shake his bonbon as much as him when dancing, i can't help but to ogle...man!!this guy can reali shake his butt sia!!!...and in terms of singing,jin is definitely the best in KAT-TUN...all the hard parts and extremely high notes (ones which i doubt many girls can sing unless ur a soprano) were thrown to him...and the thing is he doesn't even looked strained singing those notes live, not to mention they are pitch perfect too...this guy is amazing...i've decided to watch his other jdorama,Anego after Nobuta wo produce(one litre of tears will juz hafto take 3rd place)...apparently, from the reviews i've seen, his acting in Anego is both skillful and a natural...not stiff at all, considering he is a singer...and he diverted a-bit-more-than-half of my focus on kame too...tho i love kame too, jin is the one who took my breathe away everytime i watch kat-tun...however, he is currently on hiatus...meaning he is away from KAT-TUN for half a year since 12 oct 2006 to go on a study leave to further his studies in languages at a university in L.A....so if u go to youtube, u'll find a lot of the recent comments are like "comeback soon jin!!!" and "we miss you!!!"...can't help it...KAT-TUN reali dun sound ryt in their latest single without jin in it....haiz...i'm missing him too...but i guz his photo on my hp wallpaper will be enuf for the time being...already i'm waking up to his voice and kame's early in the morning (their song is my alarm tone)...so its not too bad...the bad part is the ever-present urge to look at his pic every now and then...like i did in porntipa's soci cls last tue...so if u see me taking out my hp every 5 minutes or so, and then i smile to myself, juz let it go ya...?...i'm enjoyin my own special fantasy with jin-kun...or if kame invades, akame-kuns....haiz~~

melting off~ lovesick blacque....

2007-01-11T04:40:00.000+08:00

wanted to blog ytdy,but i was stuck on KAT-TUN's Kaizokuban concert....for 2 whole hours...den there was the forum exploring session that scared the hell out of me...JC-net muz be the strictest forum around...the rules are reali iron-clad!!!and of course i've been watching my gokusen 2...but din finish the last episode coz its oredy 5.30 am by then and i had to wake up at 7 to go for soci...in the end i ended up sleeping in her cls...the thing is,i din even realize i was fallin asleep till i felt myself slidin sideways towards the guy beside me...wen i opened my eyes he was like lookin at me wif this half-shocked,half-scared expression...so pai seh can!!!but i decided to keep a straight face and acted as if nothing happened...but that did not stop me frm dozin off again till its break time...btw,today's break snack was,as quoted from val,"mutilated cheese tart"...lol...i tasted nice la,i cud haf eaten all remainin 10...but of coz i din...heh...my stomach is growling as i type this...wth....
niweaz, after soci i had lunch wif brudder,grace n xue er...muz sae it was one of the best lunch that i had since so long...simply coz the 3 of us were gathered for the first time...eating tgh wif those two reali brought back all the gd memories of eatin in our pjc canteen...for a brief moment,i reali felt the bond between the 3 of us that i had missed so much...the last tym i laffed so much during lunch muz be back in the jc daes...man...tat was so long ago!!!reali glad i met up wif em today...but enuf of my emo crap,the reason we were lafin so much was bcoz ry apparently haf a stalker taggin her blog...haha...n d funny part was her red face as she is complainin to us ...haha...so red!!!i wonder if she was blushin?haha...maybe..coz i told her the stalker myt be her secret-but-not-so-secret-anymore admirer....lol...so funny...i reali wanna go her blog n see these evidences tat the stalker left behind...but now its almoz 5 am n i reali need my sleep after cryin so much from the last episode of gokusen 2...so tml...can't wait, can't wait!!!
actuali i wanna show off the loves of my life before i end this entry, but i dunno how to put in the pics...so i will do it tml...a whole entry dedicated to them...juz for them...so signing off, the 'very-much-in-love' me,wait for the grand reveal of the loves of my life in the next entry ppl!!!
ciaoz~

2007-01-06T04:47:00.000+08:00

haiz...another dae spent not studying for ibm...n i've yet to study for the test AND do the asg...but i can't help it...gokusen 2 is keeping me away from ibm...gosh!tat jdorama is super nice can?ok...so every episode is hell predictable and the fights are downright lame and cheesy...but i still luuuuuurve it...so heartwarming and funny...i find myself giggling in front of the comp more often than once...and every episode i have this huge grin plastered on my face...reali great...thinking of getting the vcd,if only i can find one subbed in eng...so darned hard to find...myt raid jp soon....but in the mean tym,i swore to myself not to watch it till tue nyt...meanin after the test...myt oso not log on to the net unless i've got good reaons...yosh!its 5 am now n i reali muz catch up on my sleep...*yawns*...tata...till next tue...zzz....

2006-12-30T00:52:00.000+08:00

haiz...i wrote a reali long entry before this...then i dunno where it went...so im writing this again...to emphasize wat i wanna sae...DEATH NOTE 2 RULES...great movie i caught on its opening day....guaranteed to be worth every cent tat u pay for the tickets...go watch it...btw,i put up the op n ed songs of death note the anime on my blog...juz part of the craze...tats all...tata....

PS: L's real name...its revealed le...its Eru Ro Raito....or in eng...L Lawliet...so u guys can now stop wondering...haha

2006-12-23T00:31:00.000+08:00

a god-given break is finally here...tho its onli lasting for 2 weeks...3, if i skip my classes here n there, but i dun wanna la...instead, i wanna up my efforts in studying...realized for so long tat i m lagging waaay back...so now is d chance for me to catch up....particularly so for ibm...i haf no idea y im so uber intereseted in tat subject...does nageb inspire me?well...wif his crazy antics in cls, he wud haf beaten tat ntu lecturer anytym,anydae...but he doesn't really inspire me...maybe onli 5%...the other 95 % comes from the horrifying realization tat dropped on me on a tue afternn some weeks ago...i tot i had been paying attention in cls,but it seems tat i recall onli 4% of wats been tot...n d way the ppl are answering his qns...i pray fervently in every ibm cls nw...dat he wun pick me...but of coz he did...on an occasion or 2...it was simply my luck tt i was in this hyper alert mode tt dae,n the qn is more like common sense...haiz...i knew i had to buck since then...but the chance simply wasn't there till nw...so this festive season, i had packed my days wif ibm chapters,econs chapters and a dae down memory lane wif my beloved stats book frm the jc daes(realize soci isn't in the list?)...tokkin bout stats, i now fully realize the precious level of my mads lecturers in pioneer...tho they were kinda borin at tt tym, n i do slp in cls every so often, i never tot of mr chua n ah wong sir as irrelevant...but the raymond guy frm sim...my god!he is like so irrelevant in his methods!!so all u pioneer ppl who myt be reading this, appreciate ur maths teachers ppl!!!they myt be among the best ard...well,anywae i'm hopin tt i'll be able to keep up wif my schedule...but the rainy season is makin my daes uber borin...n to add to dat, im practically goin fatter n fatter by the min...my internal clock has gone haywire...i wake up at 1130,try studyin,den ard 2+ my eyes will act as if i've been given 10 boxes of sleepin pills...den i'll wake up either at 4pm or 630,dependin on the level of disturbance ard me,eat dinner,watch my precious tv programs till 12am...n then after tt,ONLI AFTER TT, i'll resume my studying frm 12 to 4+...den i slp...so u c?i practically slp,study,eat,slp,study,eat....i tink im definitely gainin weight...my face looks uber big in the mirror juz now...i scared myself...hehe...oh well...watever it is,im reali lookin forward to this hol season...n watchin deathnote2 wif my brudder on its openin dae...hope there will be seats...n tat my mum will lemme go...haiz....happy hols ppl...

2006-11-29T01:00:00.000+08:00

tomorrow is the test that i've been panicking abt for days...i was doing my mind map till 430 am ytdy...which is juz great...i felt studious n focused...but now,i'm feeling the exact opposite...my brain and concentration decided to ditch me in these final hours...it refuses,and i mean REFUSES, to concentrate on anything at all...well,actually no...it agrees to concentrate on everything...everything BUT sociology...wth?!!...wat am i goin to do?!!i haven even begun to memorize chp 3...dun even tok to me abt durkheim...argh!!!...this is nuts...i tot i'd be able to get rid off the boredom virus before brain d/c by blogging, but it seemed to have duplicated and corrupted my eyes too...now my eyes are starting to shut down...well,if the last few sentences doesn't make any sense to u, tat means my coherence is starting to be corrupted by the lame virus...haiz...i guz i'll reboot this brain of mine by using the youtube software...this blogging software doesn't seem to work...oh well...ciaoz den...let's all pray that my brain won't crash during the test tomorrow tomorrow...

2006-11-14T23:29:00.000+08:00

din go for mornin soci cls tdy...did my ibm from 8 till 5 am last nyt...do until kns...since i din do my soci tuts, no point in goin n gettin all paranoid of porntipa askin me to answer the qns ryt...???...haha...so i ended up goin for nageb's only...if i do my ibm asg till 5am den i din hand up a bit stupid ryt???...hehe...so i'm here..rested and well...all ready to haf another wee-hours marathon of goong...haiz...im sooooo slow...n i'll hafta take a break coz im returnin this laptop to my cuz tml n my comp's gonna get repaired only on fri...so i guz i'm gonna take a well-rested break and do some hardcore catchin up on my studies...gonna haf a soci test next week n econs test next next week...kns...sigh...wat a borin life i lead...n i'm still waitin for my prince shin to come n sweep me off my feet...haha...i noe i noe...u guys gonna tell me "dream on" ryt?hehe..tats exactly wat i'm doin...in the mean tym,im juz gonna hafta settle on my latest craze...if the last tym it was hatake kakashi, now its the real prince shin...still dunno hiz korean name...wat a pathetic fan i am....lolz!

my crazy computer is making me crazy....

2006-11-12T16:57:00.000+08:00

i dun believe this...my monitor ditch me in the final hour!!!wth...i wanna do my ibm asg lorz...altho i dunno wat to write on leadership,i still haf to do ryt?...ok, so i dun hafto use comp for it..meanin i can juz write....but i wanna make a gd first impression...first impression lasts...den d other assignments i can juz anyhw anyhw chinchai bochai...haha...so i borrowed my cuzin's laptop ytdy and is using it now for the tym bein...but there is a blessing in disguise...i can watch the goong episodes tat i had missed due to youtube not loading properly in my comp...so i did the exact same thing here as i did wen i was back working...i opened many windows at the same tym and began multi-taskin....haha...a bit hard this tym tho...coz i nid to use my brain to think of the type of crap to write for my asg...can't reali concentrate on goong at the same tym...well...i guz i nid to make some sacrifices sumtyms....i still haf to do a whole section of tutorial on karl marx for sociology...and that is definitely wurst than ibm...i dun and i can't understand parsons,weber and marx....how the hell did they think of such crap anywae?...dun they haf anything better to do?like mow the lawn,or wash the dishes, or watch the premiership matches...oh...soccer dun exist yet...ahha...at least dey can't enjoy soccer...haha...serve them ryt...sigh...i guz i gotta stop crappin liao...i can practically hear marx turning in his grave, asking me to do my tutorial about him...well marx,u gotta wait old boy...i'm busy running away from the ghosts of mayo, fayol and likert....ciaoz!

i want my prince shin....

2006-11-08T04:48:00.000+08:00

this is crazy...its less den 6 hrs since my last entry...since then i've been on goong marathon...ok lah...my marathon is onli 3 episodes...but its a marathon nonetheless...and the number of times i've cried in the last 4 hrs is more than the number of times i've cried in the past 4 mths lorz...and some of the parts tat i cried are not even sad lorz!but i cried as i watch how their love is unfurling in the most cutest and childish manner possible...haiz...i wanna my love life to be like tat oso!!!u noe...childish fights and all...but i guz it can onli exist in dramas...coz in real live,if u pick too many childish fights wif your bf,he'll end up dumping you...haha..wat a cruel world...
Niweaz, now tat i'm finali watchin the series proper instead of juz jumpin in here n there when i watch channel u,i like prince shin better...prince yul is this SNAG hu is not wurried bout showin his feelin n all,but i'm more intrested in the prince shin hu haf to struggle to keep up wif his growing love fro chaegyung...if only that stupid hyorin will juz get out of the picture...(yes...i noe...i'm the minority few hu tinks this wae...everyone on youtube was like chaegyung-yul n shin-hyorin....dots!)niweaz i'm a sucker for this kind of hate-love relationship stories that i'd act as if i dunno the ending tho i oredy noe....wth ryt?haha...i'm juz touched by the whole "ego vs love" concept...
so touched was i tat i forgot tat in 3 hrs time i haf to get up coz i promised my mom i'd go to the stadium n jog wif her...lol...better get some sleep now...hope i'll dream about my very own prince shin tonite...erm...i mean this mornin...hehe....*yawns*...zzzz.......

2006-11-08T00:25:00.000+08:00

super duper tired today...ytdy i played tennis wif a silly bug buzzing ard my room NOISILY till 3 am...finally gave it a smashing ace after the 6th set using my powerful butterfly net...den i tot my dad will throw it away for me...but instead my mum picked up the net...wen i asked her,she said she saw no bug...WTH!she let go off that silly bug!!...grr...hope its not in my room anymore...
ytdy was my daddy's b'dae...on sundae nyt i spent 4 hrs frm 11 to 2 am doin a presentation as his b'dae card on powerpoint...haha...more original...den i sent him on email at his office email...hehe...den wen i finished sch,i bought him a swensen's ice cream cake...i think for the first tym in 51 years,my dad finally had a b'dae cake...we celebrated small...i was so damn pai seh la...i've never so openly displayed my love for my family members lor...unlike my brother,who feels very comfortable about open displays of affections...such open display of family affections was never exercised on me since i was young...so it'll be awkward if i hug or kiss em...but early this year i felt tat one shud never hide one's love for one's parent....u'll never noe wen God myt decide to end a life...so before its too late,i made a resolution to show my love for my family members...i can't say it in words,but i hope the b'dae gifts are enuf as a gesture to show my appreciation and love...feel proud tat i finali achieved my resolution...hehe...*blush*
oh...btw,i wanna watch the covenant...think its a nice show...anyone wanna watch?

2006-11-01T00:22:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling reali reali sick and tired yo....3 whole weeks of slpin at 4am everydae...its a wonder hw come my nightly dose of naruto isn't finishin at all...onli at 170...nw its 207...37 more episodes to go...if i can manage to keep up wif the 10 episodes every morn like the past 3 weeks,then it'll be 4 daes left...if onli 5,den its 8 daes...damn...naruto is like so freakin borin wif all the fillers and stuff...but i'm so goddamn determined to keep up wif it...the wurst part of me bein addicted to anime...can't stop even if i want to...n once i finish wif naruto,i'll juz kip on goin on n on lkin for a new anime tho i noe the consequences...haiz....already im hooked on bleach...den naruto...n nw...v.recently,death note...the anime...onli 5 episodes so far...n i oredi noe the whole story line...stupid me ignoring the spoilers warning sign on wikipedia....but it wun stop me frm watchin bof the anime n movie...DEATH NOTE RULZ!!...yeah...i noe...i'm newly crazed again...

actuali i shud be studyin for econs ryt nw...i'm like laggin for 3 lects le...n if i calculate correctly,by the tym i get back on track,i'll be laggin for 5 lessons...no one else to blame but myself...but i'm still stubborn twds my own conscience...
IBM juz nw was super drainin...i slept for only 3 hrs in the last 48 hrs...n i drank coffee...made my hands feel reali numb n aching after tat...haiz...

oh...btw,my cls got a lot of funi characters...i gave nicknames to em...

"BATMAN"---the cape crusader hu stomped dwn the steps wif his black jacket flappin behind him durin mads lect.wenqi,serene n roger were reali tired back then,so they were easiily amused...so guz wat they did?they laffed.as in OUT LOUD...i bet batman felt v.self conscious ever since tt dae...coz we evil bunch wud openly try our best to nt burst out laffin every time he walk past our grp...he became our inside joke...poor guy...tsktsk...
"SUNNY BOY"---the poser who alwaes wear tight t-shirts n sumtyms singlets to show off his muscles...n armpit hair...LOL!!!...haha...stupid la tat guy...so y is he sunny boy?coz he alwaes hang his shades ard his neck in lect...poser...
"WOODSTOCK a.k.a THE TURN-AROUND GUY"---he'll sit at the front row wif his frens den turnard every 5 mins to chk out the gurls behind...SUPER IRRITATING!!!coz its hell distracting...imagine all u see is this sea of back-of-the-head and suddenly a face appears...he's like a blinkin button tat distracts u frm the lecturer...n it doesn't help tat he likes to wear BRIGHT GREEN...the woodstock came frm bethia n marcus...his hair lk like wdstck frm behind...haha....lame...
"MR OI OI OI"---a member of the fellowship of the nerds hu talks abt sociology wif a scary enthusiasm during break...pissed roger n bao an when he tapped (beat,according to roger) roger's shoulder to ask wat pg the lecturer is at,while goin "oi oi oi"...LOUDLY...haha...thus earning him the name...
"THE WEIRD GUY"---a loneranger who refused to open his mouth during lect....amazingly,the lecturers did not even ask him twice....n he rocks back and forth during mads lect once...i din see it...according to mao fen n shaline....super scary...super weird...
"JAY CHOU"---i thought he looked like jay chou ever since i first saw him...and i still do...the rest had a great tym laffin abt it...so pai seh!!!haha...i guz my point of view is totali different frm others...or maybe its juz my eyes goin bonkers...haha...either,he still lk like jay to me...except tt i've never stared at his face properly b4...maybe he wun lk like jay once i get to stare properly...haha..okk...tats it...im lame...

2006-10-26T00:32:00.000+08:00

i hate sim...no...more like i hate the rulz there...stupid rules...my saturday class suxs...why muz produce evidence to show i reali cannot make it wan...?...stupid la....they shud be grateful i try to ask for their bloody permission to chg class lor!!might as well bloody crash...huh...even better...i'l refuse to come...ppl wanna celebrate hari raya lor!...where got bloody document as evidence?i vomit all the goodies in their face can la...want onot?stupid...make me pissed as hell only...humph...spoil my day...watch naruto n death note better than thinkin abt it la...baka!!!

The New Interface...

2006-10-23T01:46:00.000+08:00

I FINALLY CHANGE MY BLOGSKIN!!!!!!
ok...so how do you like it?you may sae "so wat?'...but hey...for me this is a huge achievement....I din noe how to chg blogskins u c...so I decided to take the risk n try it out...did it for abt 2 hr...I LOVE HATAKE KAKASHI...so decided on this blogskin...he looks hell cool in here...hehe...still got some stuffs missing...under construction...n i juz realized as i am typing this tat all my past entries are not included...argh!!!gotta fix tat soon...if not,it'll be gone forever!!humph...better do it now...till den...ciaoz...

2006-10-01T23:52:00.000+08:00

i think something is wrong wif me...radar mode will be switched on to the highest level in yrs nw...wun lose this battle...

2006-09-12T21:59:00.000+08:00

last week my hp batt when from full to flat in juz 2 mins wen my dad called...i complained bout it...he offered to chg my hp since it was oredy past the 21 mths thingy...i was elated...it was rare that i get such offers to buy new stuffs without having to whine on and on abt it...we even talked abt the hp models n discussed the features...
ytdy i went online to look at hp models and even spent ard 1 hr doin up an easy chart of the different features of each model so i can refer to em easily without havin to go online again...i showed it to my dad as soon as he got home...we looked at it,toked abt it...i was so happy...come my mother and she was all against it...sayin tat my current hp cost $600+ wen i bought it without plan...she sae its still workin and in good condition...my dad din sae anything,so i tot that im still ok...
tdy my dad sae he got an extra batt frm his last hp...he told me to see if i can use it...it fitted,my hp model can use that batt...which means there is nothing wrong wif my hp anymore...no more reason to buy a new one...
my mum is all smiles of coz...my dad has saved his pocket from burning...dey sae me bein in sim is very costly...the reason they,especially she,now hammer in my ears everytime i wanna buy something new,from shoes to bags to clothes to food...
in the end,wat was said was unsaid...wat was given was taken back...wat ever elation i felt was replaced by bitter disappointment...
in the end,i still haf to beg to buy new stuffs with blood,sweat and tears...i haf to beg for it,like i've been beggin for the 20 years of my life....
when parents take back their promises,its the most bitter disappointment a child can face...
blood,sweat and tears...no,i wun beg for a hp this time....not ever again.

2006-08-18T23:00:00.000+08:00

I step to the edge
And my nothingness pulls me in.
A void.My void.
Falling,yet...
The gravity of reality did not pull me down,
So I float in the Void.
Blind.
Suffocated.
Groping to hold on to...Nothing.
Lost in the void,
Waiting for the hands to pull me out...
An angel of light.
So that I may at least fall,
Head over heels,
All the way to the bottom of my heart...
It may hurt,
But at least I am falling,moving on...

But I'm still here hanging
In a moment of eternity....

...Will You Save Me?...

2006-07-04T13:53:00.000+08:00

tdy im lafin a lot...smilin a lot...there is this brightness surroundin me like a halo, shinin the life of others...bringin the happiness into their life...so sure that i am enjoying the moment juz as they are...this cheerfulness...its infectious they said...so they laf along wif me...but do they noe?do they noe that it is no more than a mere lie?an act.a facade.no they do not.bcoz over the years i had practiced it so often that i am getting better n better at such lies...the power to suppress ur own sadness and grief...to silence ur hurt n anger...to hold back ur tears...sometimes i reali feel like i need to push them all away...to juz release this mask of mine and let the tears flow freely, but i cant...too egoistic...too full of pride...everything i hold back...not to lash out, as much as i want to....how many times had i felt my self brimming wif anger, tearing at the seams of my tolerance...too many to count...to retreat back into my shell...enveloped in my own dark world till the hurt and pain ebbs away....heh...i can even make it sound like a linkin park lyric...so full of angst....showing a cool demeanour on the outside while a terrible storm is raging in my head...even worst is when i haf that bright any sunny outlook...i feel like a complete liar...the biggest deceiver...deceiving others...deceiving myself...i wonder hw i do it...maybe from separating my environments....but the storms...they are constantly raging...diminished at some point wen im in tat stupid cheerful self, but raging all the same....no wonder my emotions are so delicate...a single tilt can sway me in a matter of seconds....my poor friends for having to put up with it....but i assure you...i'll be just fine....with time, all wounds will heal....

2006-06-27T08:54:00.000+08:00

ok....so here i am, sitting in this office at....the tym now is 8.55 am....blogging wif eyes tat is 3/4 closed....yes...it seems tat the world cup effects are finali catchin up on me...here is the stupid thing.....i slept during the the last half an hr of the italy-aussie game yesternyt and did not even wake up for the ukraine-swiss match...so why am i still sleepy? coz frm thursday nyt onwards,i had been watchin every game....which means, for the past...lemme see...129 hrs, i've onli slept for like 16 hrs of slp...if u were to compare that to wat i usually get on non-world cup season,it is surely less than half....haiz...16 out of 129 hrs....gosh...and comin to work juz makes everything harder...
...so are my sacrifices worth the while?i cant reali decide actuali...altho my fave underdogs, the socceroos...or the aussies for u guys who had no inkling of wat im talkin abt....are finali out *sobs* of the greatest event on earth (trust me...it even beats the olympics when it comes to importance, entertainment value and uniting the world), my top 2 faves are still out there runnin ard after that coveted golden trophy...surely that is the most coveted trophy in the world...they are england (as any other s'porean fans who had been over-exposed to the epl) and germany....yes, germany...altho i have this feelin that if eng is to play like they do for the ecuador game, they will surely lose in the next game...despite portugal side bein depleted...but the germans...oh my german team!!....they are in fabulous form....4 years ago i was 1 of the minority in the world who are rooting for germany instead of brazil...and was i disappointed back then...but this time, im hopin that my germans will meet brazil,sumwhere if not the finals...and whoop their ass!!!...that will be a joyous event....for any team to whoop brazil's ass...i'll pray for the day to come...not tat i hate the brazilian team or anythin like tat...juz tat since they had been up there for so long (as long as i can remember), it'll be interesting to see which team can finali bring down the house of power...and the german looks closest to it...with klose (he is so damn bloody handsome!!!absolutely to die-for eyes!!!) and frings and friedrich and ballack, they look kinda unstopabble ryt nw...but i've seen the argentinians play this tym ard...so i can't reali be sure abt the outcome of the clash...the argentinians mite still be quite a surprise for the germans...oh well...i've talked long enuf abt this...and any way i talk, i still wun be able to predict the outcome...the ball is round...so juz let the beautiful game play itself out!!

.....ok that doesn't sound as philosophical as i wud like it to be...oh well...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2006-06-06T15:14:00.000+08:00

ok...for all u curious fellas out there...i din get into any unis...so nw im tryin in for the appeal...yeah..soundin desperate but i guz its oight...disappointed at first, but nw i not tat concerned no longer...decided to juz go SIM if i cant get into local unis...i'll noe lotsa ppl dwn dere niwea...u noe wat they sae...."Pioneers of feathers, flock together"...and since Pioneers are Penguins, we shall all flock to a barren place like SIM....BRRR!!!!

tat aside, im pretty excited nw...world cup is startin in 3 days time,but i haf yet to pick the team tat i'll support....england is definitely in...but other than tat, i still cant decide...guz i'll juz haf to wait till the game itself starts...im sure i'll find the lucky team tat haf my support...hehe...niweaz, it mite moz probably be some underdogs....hmm...i dunno...i'll post the results when i start supportin em...hehe...

niwea, my job at work is getting more dangerous...i now have to be more alert than ever coz my latest skiving activity is one that is sure to divert me from bein watchful of my surroundings...can u guz wat it is?....haha!!...tats ryt (or maybe not...)....I'M WATCHIN ANIME ON YOUTUBE!!!....wahaha....tho i started ytdy, i seem to be making good progress...from this morning 830 am (the minute i sat down at my desk....) till now which is about...330 pm, i haf watched 6 naruto episodes and 3 bleach episodes....yep...and im juz takin time off to do a lil bit more of work and to write this entry down...haha...i finally get to watch these 2 animes!!!...okok...so im laggin by a few yrs (--'")....but at least im startin liao le mah....hurhur...

oight...tats all the update u guys are gonna get frm me for nw peeps...im goin back to my ANIMELAND now....been away frm it for too long (6 mins) liao....

signing off from ANIMELAND : JAA NE!!

2006-05-25T23:02:00.000+08:00

u noe those nus ads?bout the students getting a place there?

well, i feel like throwing the remote at the tv every time i see tat ad.

so here i am still sweating over the outcome of my future...

n there are those concerned ppl hu kept on asking if i got a plc in uni yet...

How Sweet!!

Oh wait....

They ALL had a place in the Universities already!!

SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING TRAP PPL!!

I DUN NEED UR "CONCERNS"!!!

or shall i sae..

UR KPO NATURE HANGING OVER MY HEAD!!

2006-05-10T14:25:00.000+08:00

Recently i discovered a world that is quite new to me. The incredible world of Initial D that is. I discovered that it is more than just jay chou,edison chen, shawn yue or piao yi....its definitely more than that...kk...lemme explain...apparently my brother is super duper crazy over cars....so he had this intial d: the movie vcd...the one wif jay chou n edison chen(the best looking and cutest chinese guy i've ever seen so far...)...so he was kinda excited...so for my first pay, i bought him the project d: fourth stage anime, 1st n 2nd episode...hesitant to buy more coz aint no eng subtitles...so bought him dat...i watched wif no interest...cud hardly understand wats goin on la...den for his bdae recently i bought him initial d:the 1st and 2nd stage vcds...came as a pack of 13 cds...tho the pic quality no gd,its still quite ok mah...den recently...like last week,my dad started watchin the discs..i joined him coz we bof had nothing to do after dinner other than watchin tv...den somehow,somewhere, it got more and more interesting...altho the graphics are quite sucky coz the anime was aired on 1998, the storyline itself was quite interesting...

Its about Takumi Fujiwara, an 18 yr old highschool kid who lives with his dad. They had a tofu shop and eversince he was in middlesch, Takumi had to drive his dad's AE86 to deliver the tofus to a hotel at the top of Mount Akina,be it rain or shine or even if it is snowing.So he had to deliver the tofus everyday at 4am. Takumi hates it cause he felt that he was losing his precious sleep.So he started driving up Mt Akina and back down as fast as he could so go back to sleep.Soon he can deliver the tofu in less than half an hour.However, he frequently got beaten by his dad as the high speed damaged the soft tofus.So one day his dad gave him a cup of water filled to the brim and ask him to put in into the cup holder.His dad told him that he wud be beaten for every drop of water spilled. So at first Takumi had to go reali slow.Even then he splashed a lot of water.Then he cut his time to 1hr...den 1/2 hr...den again to 15 mins...but this time, the tofus are left untouched...unknowingly to him, Takumi had finally mastered and almost perfected the style of driving called drifting...So one dae, his fren,Iketani, hu also work with him atas station got a battle.Iketani is the leader of the group of street racers from Akina called "Akina Speedstars"...So this Iketani received a battle from Keisuke, one half of the famous street racer Takaheshi Brothers from the "Red Suns" hus policy is to challenge other groups on their homeground...so Iketani accepted the challenge...But somehow Iketani got into an accident and cudn't race...So the Akina Speedstars were about to be humiliated by the Red Suns when Takumi steps forward and offered to race Keisuke in place of Iketani...At first no one cud believe him coz everyone tot that he was too young...wats more the opponent,Keisuke, is a professional street racer who is almost as gd as his brother Ryousuke, the undefeated legend nicknamed "The White Comet of Akagi"....but Takumi insists that he can do it,giving that blur-as-sotong look that is so damn hell cute!!(im talkin bout the anime character of coz...Jay Chou is miles away compared to the anime Takumi....)And so they raced...At first, Keisuke tot Takumi was an easy one to beat, but after the first corner, he was surprised to see Takumi enter and exit at such high speed and that his drift is almoz perfect...den Keisuke got a bit worried co Takumi managed to keep up with him thruout the whole race...he can enter and exit the corners at full throttle too!!! so the crux of the race came to the critical five hairpins...it was at the 3rd hairpin that Takumi overtook Keisuke in his famous gutter trick...den Takumi sped away, leaving Keisuke shocked behind him....and of coz the rest is history...Takumi raced one big shot after another, and each is tougher than the last...and yet he goes on and on to win the recognition as the famed AE86 of Akina...

So there u go...the "brief" background of initial d...now im completely crazy over the anime...from hating cars and racing games, im actuali startin to like em now...juz watchin the cars race on anime is more than enuf to send a rush of adrenaline to my veins...the heart thumping moments...the sense of dread when takumi is losin the battle...the blood boiling up to my head...the sense of jubilation and sweet victory when takumi manage to turn the tide and finally win the race in the most unexpected way...it super cool...i mean,its so different from inuyasha...okay maybe except for the fact that the hero always wins....but other than that, the characters themselves are of a totali different genre...inuyasha is this argumentative character that is so full of character,but takumi is this totali cool-headed guy hu looks half sleepy most of the time...but they are different stuff,those two animes...n initial d is...no....initial d HAD risen quite unexpectedly to no.2 spot in my list of anime rankings...woohoo...im so crazy over it tat anime that i start liking cars (those subaru type tat i hate b4 tis...),racing games(im spending more n more money wif my bro at the arcade...he's the better driver tho...think he got potential since he is onli 8 for god's sake!!)..and get this...eurobeat songs by move!!!sheesh!!!never did i tot i'l listen to some techno junk...but now i feel tat that is the onli type of music to play when u r drivin fast....rock songs dun wurk...so there...hehe...ouh...n i wanna feel the drivin experience soo much tat instead of spending onli a few bucks for the pc games, i decide to buy a ps2 instead...my decision this time was reali out of the blue...n my parents will haf no sae nor can they prevent me from buyin it...if they try to stop me or deter me,i will still buy it...and the game of coz...hmm...but still kinda undecided which i shud buy le...ps2 or psp...hmm....watever it is, initial d,HERE I COME!!!....vrooom!!!!

2006-05-04T14:19:00.000+08:00

been a long time since i last update my entries...huh...no tym lah...was rushin over work for 2 whole weeks straight leh!!!...the price to pay for slackin so muc of coz...hur..but nvm...i sent in my work ytdy,2 days past the deadline...thk god my boss was on leave when i handed it in...haha...so now i m back to slackin!!!woo hoo!!!...hehe...ass usual...niwea us 3 temps kena reprimanded for talkin too much...huh...i was fumin mad...those adults dun understand the age gap between us temp staffs and perm staffs dun dey?....we r onli tryin to inject some life into this office onli mah...huh...adults!!...i hope i'll never be like em...huh...so niwea we decide to go on a silent strike...thinkin bout it now,i feel like lafin...but last week we were like all hell serious bout not tokkin at lah...we din even smile or say hello to the perms like we always do...all qns were answered by curt rplys...so childish ryt?...haha...it gets even better...here is the best part: since we din wan to tok at all,we communicated thru msn!!!wahaha!!can u imagine tat??!!chattin to 2 other ppl hu r sittin ryt next to u!!...haha...dumb as it is,we had a lot of fun doin tat...if one were to observe us properly, the person will see how we were giggling silently den quickly try to put back tat serious face again...haha...physically i was maintainin this stone faced tat was practically emotionless (tat was hw my fren described me...),but online i was creatin havoc wif my remarks...my other 2 colleagues had to struggle to kip em self from lafin outloud...hehehe....den we made up some stupid rules abt how we wun take stuffs from pantry or even fill up our cups from the water dispenser at the pantry...we chatted for 3 whole days straight till it was finali too painful for us to move or fingers to chat again...haha...too much of "tokkin"...in fact we chat online more than wen we speak...haha...niwea we finali loosened up after the 4th day...i told dem it was v.exciting to hold a grudge and go on a silent strike, but it gets kinda tirin after a while...so we started whisperin to each other and by the 5th dae,we were tokkin as usual...i took a step further and broke my own rule...i made milo at the pantry...haha...it shows tat im a natural rule-breaker huh?cant even stick to my own rule...lol...niweaz other than that, i found this website tat is more of a blessin in disguise...allows me to listen and add music to my jukeblog without havin to download the music at all...so here i am, stuck to my headphones...ive added songs from the 1960s to now,from tv soundtracks to movie ost...hmm...ive oso got malay,chinese,japanese and eng (duh!) songs to kip me entertained...moz of em are songs that i grew up wif...imagine songs ,some are v.hard to find,like "don't speak","fixin a broken heart","25 mins","hips dun lie","the song frm my best friend's wedding","still lovin u","more than words","jujur",piao yi","dogfight".....and the list goes on....playin to kip me companied for the whole dae!!!woohoo!!!if im not wrong...nw total im listening to a total of 184 songs everyday...and i dun plan to stop juz there...heh...moz of the songs remind me of a particular moment in my life...yet there are others which im onli beginning to enjoy...huh...anime songs are v.gd....n im into this road racing fever after watchin initial d...kept fantasizin myself to be a road racer like takumi....driftin downhill in an AE86 on Mount Akina...haiz...if onli i cud...........too bad its onli anime.......

2006-04-19T17:43:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i think my life is so boring that i wonder why i get out of bed at all...

Advice of the day:
Study while u can ppl.Workin life is hazardous coz it turns u into a borin adult.

Adios.

The Aquarian in Me....

2006-04-18T14:17:00.000+08:00

i was lookin thru the various websites concerning my zodiac signs, and this one struck true the most...it reali makes me sound as if i'm an aquarian thru and thru...the descriptions are fairly accurate abt my personality...think those hu really want to noe me shud read up on this....haha....btw i rebonded my hair...happy...no longer messy!!!

AQUARIUS

Traditional Aquarian Traits:
Friendly and humanitarian(yep!i looooove animals remember?)
Honest and loyal
Original and inventive
Independent and intellectual

On the dark side....
Intractable and contrary
Perverse(not pervertic hor!) and unpredictable
Unemotional and detached

Aquarians basically possess strong and attractive personalities. They fall into two principle types: one shy, sensitive, gentle and patient; the other (that's me!) exuberant, lively and exhibitionist, sometimes hiding the considerable depths of their character under a cloak of frivolity. Both types are strong willed and forceful in their different ways and have strong convictions, though as they seek truth above all things, they are usually honest enough to change their opinions, however firmly held, if evidence comes to light which persuades them that they have been mistaken. They have a breadth of vision that brings diverse factors into a whole, and can see both sides of an argument without shilly-shallying as to which side to take. Consequently they are unprejudiced and tolerant of other points of view. This is because they can see the validity of the argument, even if they do not accept it themselves. They obey the Quaker exhortation to "Be open to truth, from whatever source it comes," and are prepared to learn from everyone.

Both types are humane, frank, serious minded, genial, refined, sometimes ethereal, and idealistic, though this last quality is tempered with a sensible practicality. They are quick, active and persevering without being self-assertive, and express themselves with reason, moderation and sometimes, a dry humor.

They are nearly always intelligent, concise, clear and logical. Many are strongly imaginative and psychically intuitive, so that the Age of Aquarius, which is about to begin, is much anticipated by psychic circles as an age in which mankind will experience a great spiritual awakening. The Aquarian philosophical and spiritual bent may be dangerous in that it can drive the subjects into an ivory-tower existence where they meditate on abstractions that bear little relevance to life. On the other hand it can help the many who have scientific leanings to combine these with the Aquarian yearning for the universal recognition of the brotherhood of man, and to embark on scientific research to fulfill their philanthropic ideals of benefiting mankind. When some cause or work of this nature inspires them, they are capable of such devotion to it that they may drive themselves to the point of exhaustion and even risk injuring their health.

Both types need to retire from the world at times and to become temporary loners (that is truly self-evident....). They appreciate opportunities for meditation or, if they are religious, of retreats. Even in company they are fiercely independent, refusing to follow the crowd. They dislike interference by others, however helpfully intended, and will accept it only on their own terms. Normally they have good taste in drama, music and art, and are also gifted in the arts, especially drama.

In spite of the often intensely magnetic, forthcoming and open personality of the more extrovert kind of Aquarian, and of their desire to help humanity, neither type makes friends easily. They sometimes appear to condescend to others and take too little trouble to cultivate the acquaintance of people who do not particularly appeal to them. They do not give themselves easily - perhaps their judgment of human nature is too good for that - and are sometimes accounted cold. But once they decide that someone is worthy of their friendship or love, they can exert an almost hypnotic and irresistible mental attraction on them and will themselves become tenacious friends or lovers, ready to sacrifice everything for their partners and be faithful to them for life. However, they are sometimes disappointed emotionally because their own high personal ideals cause them to demand more of others than is reasonable. And if they are deceived their anger is terrible. If disillusioned, they do not forgive.

Aquarians work best in group projects, provided that they are recognized as having a leading part in them. They have a feeling of unity with nature and a desire for knowledge and truth that makes them admirable scientists, especially astronomers and natural historians. They may excel in photography, radiography, electronics - anything connected with the electrical and radio industries - aviation and everything technical. On the arts and humanities side their progressive tendencies can be expressed in writing, especially poetry, and broadcasting, or as welfare workers and teachers. Some have gifts as entertainers and make good character actors (having an ability to mimic) and musicians. The more psychic among them possess healing gifts, especially in curing the mentally sick.

Among the faults to which they are liable are fanatical eccentricity, wayward egotism, excessive detachment and an inclination to retreat from life and society, and a tendency to be extremely dogmatic in their opinions. Aquarians can be a threat to all they survey or a great boon for humanity in general. Circumstances - for example, continuous opposition to a cause they hold dear - may cause the atrophy of the openness of mind that is one of the Aquarian's most attractive traits. They may express a lack of integrity in broken promises, secretiveness or cunning. Simmering anger and resentment, rudeness or, worse, a tense, threatening silence which may suddenly burst out in eruptions of extreme temper, these are all part of the negative side of the Aquarian. This can also reveal itself in a sustained hatred for enemies that is capable of enlarging itself into a misanthropy toward the whole of mankind.

LIKES

Fighting for Causes
Dreaming and Planning for the Future
Thinking of the Past (haha...i do reminisce very often...in most of my entries...)
Good Companions (they are indispensible!)
Having Fun

DISLIKES

Full of Air Promises
Excessive Loneliness
The Ordinary
Imitations
Idealistic

So there u go...don't you think it is totali me?haha...they din mention "paranoid" tho....haha...tell me if it was the perfect description of me k?...i wanna noe...lol!till den....ciaoz!

2006-04-10T10:45:00.000+08:00

Bravos to Man Utd...Once again they put their strangle-hold on Arsenal by winning 2-0 in one of the most exciting games in the Premiership this season...It was truly English football in style...back to back attacks,minutes before halftime...excellent set-pieces with such heart-thumping counter attacks that is full of heart-stopping moments every time the teams return the assaults...exceptionally wonderful...and to add to that is the taste of sweet victory for my beloved Man Utd...long-time rivals,the titans of the Premiership did well right from the start...of course Arsenal started better...It was a nail-biting experience for me while watchin the way Arsenal started the game..they were practically shooting away...
(Mind you,i dun haf SCV...so i was watchin from an untuned channel(pathetic!)...u noe...those that flicker so much that u cant even see the field in one piece...haha...i noe...almoz went blind...halfway i slp for ard 2 mins...but the sound was gd...so i was listening to the English gentlemen speaking British English...haha...feel so ang moh nw...hehe..)
...aniwae Man utd was simply great...Rooney was superb!!he was everywhere!!the defence,the mid fields,the forwards...'Super rooney' is the onli thing tat cud describe him ytdy...he was above everybody else...n his hard work was not left unpaid...he scored the first goal with such clinical precision after receiving from neville that jens lehmann cud onli stare after the ball...not onli tat,he set up the second goal tat was scored by park ji sung....the man utd strikers were simply in excellent form...c.ronaldo with his elaborate and fancy footworks that dazzled everyone...nistelrooy was not as prominent as the rest,but he did juz as gd whenever he touches the ball...louis saha who substitute nistelrooy also performed altho he wasnt long on the field...on the defence,rio ferdinand and mikael silvestre were a force that robert pires and company had to deal with...not forgetting van der sar hu saved the daywith his quick reflexes and amazing stops... with such a dazzling field of players,it was no wonder that man u stole the show frm arsenal at the biggest turnout at the theatre of dreams ever...this whole entry might sound biased,but what else do u expect from a loyal man utd fan like me ryt?...its the onli thing i cud do...to dedicate this entry to THE GREATEST CLUB IN THE WORLD,MANCHESTER UNITED!!....MAN U RULZ!!!

P.S:juz u watch out chelsea...the red devils will be back next season to put u thru hell...

2006-04-06T16:54:00.000+08:00

ahh...tdy muz be my lucky dae coz i kindof made a new fren...kindof,i think...k lah..only in the morn...after ytdy's disappointment...din see smarty punk...but tis morn i tokked to ben...ben chiew...ytdy i tokked to ben ng...last week tokked to ben kwan...god...i noe so many bens!!...niwea reali reali tot tat he was ping coz under the contacts "underground" mah...i had experience tokkin to ping before,n at least tat guy can crap...but den it was ben...n i was like oh shit....felt kindof pai seh...hu noes he is the serious serious kind hu think im like some crap....but thank god he was gd enuf to me...tokked to me till i went overboard...meanin i was waaay too tokative...den he haf to log off...so tats it...as in like...tats it...i was expectin a kind of heart thumpin moment...but no leh...only at the beginnin wen i realise i made a mistake thinkin he was ping...den after tat i began tokkin to him like he was some long tym buddy...so there is nothing after all...i was juz delusioned...tats all...hehe...muz be bcoz of smarty punk...haha...am i ever so fickle-minded?...heheh...but its great to noe tat all i was experiencin was a retro crush...haha...i like tat...retro crush...tat makes smarty punk my new-age crush!!..hehe...im bein silly here...niweaz im hapi...i can move on...no longer stuck in the past...nw...if onli i can see smarty punk again...hehe...i think ill blush like hell...not tat hell blushes...ahh...u noe wat i mean...till den..i leave u guys wif this song...tend to forget how the older songs can sound reali gd wen u hear them again...sumting like hw a retro crush re-visited can be reali sweet...haha...ciaoz....

I'D DO ANYTHING ~ SIMPLE PLAN

Another day is going by
I'm thinking about you all the time
But you're out there
And I'm here waiting

And I wrote this letter in my head
Cuz so many things were left unsaid
But now you're gone
And I can't think straight

This could be the one last chance
To make you understand

I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Cuz somehow I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
Cuz I knowI won't forget you

Together we broke all the rules
Dreaming of dropping out of school
And leave this place
To never come back

So now maybe after all these years
If you miss me have no fear
I'll be here
I'll be waiting

This could be the one last chance to make you understand
And I just can't let you leave me once again

I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Cuz somehow I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
Cuz I knowI won't forget you

I close my eyes
And all I see is you
I close my eyes
I try to sleep
I can't forget you
Nanana (....)
And I'd do anything for you
Nanana (....)

I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Cuz somehow I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
Cuz I knowI won't forget you

I'd do anything
To fall asleep with you
I'd do anything
There's nothing I won't do
I'd do anything
To fall asleep with you
I'd do anything
Cuz I know I won't forget you

2006-04-05T15:08:00.000+08:00

argh...i was so bored tat i wen to read a few friendster testis...got sumwan hu i dun wan him to noe tat i read his testis...i read almoz finish den i realize i never put my mode to anonymous...now wonderin if it will make a difference if i put it to anon after readin it...if not,i will feel so pai seh!!!...niweaz,i m hapi to say tat goin to work is no longer gonna be SUCH A DRAG again...tats coz there is this cute smarty-punk in my building!!!...he is like this reali cool guy hu wears the normal long-sleeved shirt,ties n smarty pants...every inch a potetial business man workin in the CBD area...until u look at his punky hair and nike shoes...when i first saw him,i cudnt help but think "wat a weird outfit"...but by den i oredy tot tat he muz be one hell of a cool guy...until ytdy...me n ct was enterin the lift...all i noticed is this guy on the right coz he was tokin to his fren...so i turn ard,facin the door n mindin my own business wen my fren nudge me sayin there is this cute guy on her left...den i took a small glance den saw tat it was smarty punk...coz i saw onli his shoes n outfit,but never see face...dun wanna sppear too obvious mah...so wen i got out of lift,i told ct tat i wanna see his face,so we walk slowly...den wen he walkin past me i took a glance...den i wen lyk "OH MY GAWD!"...He look so cute!!got this a bit of mixed look...n he look ard our age...meanin he not some grown-up tryin to look like a cool youngster (rem dennis yeo?)...den he was carryin this GUCCI paperbag n listenin to his mp3...muz be a rich guy ryt?haha...ct say he got an earrin on his left ear,tho i din see tat...hehe...i muz say tat my radar sensor tat had been off for the past...5 mths or so ...suddenly went off like a mad siren in my head...haha...a new crush!!yeay!!!juz wen i tot im fallin into the singles club (personal joke between us temp staffs...coz half of our dept are single ladies hu r way past the marryin age...),wif no particular interests in guys ard me (not one tat caught my slightest interest since taugeh...)...so there i was feelin so pathetic...till smarty-punk came to my rescue!!!haha...nw i feel normal again...at least its back to the seek-and-hide days again...but if there is ever one thing tat i shud make a note for myself,its tat similarity of this total stranger wen i first saw him frm behind...he looked like a particular sumwan hu i noe...frm before...sumwan i wud very much like to see nw...tat bit of similarity had hit me like a tidal wave(or shall i say tsunami?) at tat moment in tym...n tat bit of familiarity is wat tat got me interested in the first place...hmm...wonder if our goin home tym will coincide again tdy?...

ku ada di sini...

2006-04-03T15:45:00.000+08:00

on the contrary to wat grace said on my shoutbox...i dun feel my last entry was nice...it was in fact the moz embarrassin(dunno hw to spell) entry ever...i muz be reali reali out of my head dat day,so forgive my crazed words ppl...pls try to ignore it the best as u can...n if u ever meet me,pls nvr mention it...or i'll be embarassed to the core...of coz i haf the option to delete the entry...but wats the point ryt?...

niweaz,nw tt im done wif all the embarassin apologies,im here to say tat....I SAW ARI WIBOWO LIVE IN PERSON!!!!well,in case u dunno,he is this very HANDSOME indonesian actor hus series is rakin in the biggest ratings on Suria(the very lousy Singapore malay tv channel) at this moment in tym...n wen i say he is HANDSOME,i reali mean HANDSOME!!!coz he got this mixed blood thingy,looks almoz angmoh/pan-asian,born in Berlin n haf this reali great indonesian accent that is much nicer than the very monotonous n crude malay accent that u find in singapore...not to mention tat he haf this reali nice personality..nah...make it GREAT personality...haiz...i actuali stood outside PS in the swelterin sun for 3 WHOLE HOURS JUZ TO SEE HIM!!!wif ard 30,000 other malays (mats,minahs,aunties,uncles,father,mother,kids,grandmas,grandpas,the fit n the crippled,the indon maids...oh well...practically almoz the whole malay population of Singapore....),i was squashed beyond movin...n the show hosts were kinda crap...they were tryin to buy tym coz the ari guy is late due to traffic jam in front of PS...can u imagine the smell at that tym??!!...everyone was sweatin like a pig liao...there were even those hu fainted due to the heat...kept tellin myself to endure...tats its better to be here than...umm...a crowded serangoon maybe?...no offences meant ppl...juz sumting i was sayin to assure n comfort myself...niweaz ppl were gettin restless n some of them were lyk shouting to the show hosts to get over their crap n juz let ari appear...but wat can they do ryt?he was stuck in a traffic jam...so the show hosts practically spent ard 15 mins before ari's arrival waitin anxiously on the side of the stage coz the crowd was gettin reali restless...ppl kept chantin for ari...den wen he finali appeared on stage,the was this huge big cheer that felt reali...great?...i was practically swept away by his presence...he looks drop dead gorgeous man...n he was reali sweet on the stage...sayin hw he din expect to get tat huge a reception n tat he was reali honoured to have such a welcome...totali sweet!!!den i was snappin away...but coz i was snappin away on one hand(my other hand was lodged in the middle of two fat aunties...i dun even wanna think where it was lodged in between them....) ,out of ard 16 pics that i got,only 2 came out nicely...wat a total waste...the video i took looked as if i was in an earthquake...all the aunties were lyk pushin me fwd...sumhw,near the end,i was nearer to the stage...but my camera run out of batt liao...wat sway luck....haiya...but at least i got to see him in person...even if it meant 3 hrs of standin n sweatin n starin at other ppl's sweat...kk...dun puke yet,coz i wanna end this entry wif the reali sweet theme song of 'Dia',the indonesian series tat my ari wibowo acted in...(notice i nw use MY ari wibowo?haha...)...its a lovely song of bein there for the ones u love in tym of their greatest need...hmm...hw abt i dedicate this song to all my frens huh?heh...goes out to all of u ppl hu noe me...i'll be there for u...ciaoz....

Ku Ada Di Sini ~ Rio Febrian

Saat semua asamu
Hilang dan dan tak tersisa
Usah kau berkecil hati
Ku ada disini

Saat engkau sadari
Tiada arti hidup ini
Usah kau ragukan lagi
Ku ada disini

Bridge:
Tak akan ada satupun yang bisa
Memisahkan kita
Sebutkan namaku dihatimu

Reff:
Tak perlu seribu bintang
Yang bertaburan dilangit sana
'Tuk malam-malam mu
Ku ada disini
Tak perlu seribu sahabat
Dengan senyum sapa dan hangat cinta
Cukup satu alasan indah
Ku ada disini

Saat semua lelahmu
Tak terbuangkan lagi
Usah kau simpan sendiri
Ku ada disini

Saat semua cintamu
Pergi dan tak kembali
Usah kau tangisi lagi
Ku ada disini

2006-03-29T15:30:00.000+08:00

today is one of those daes tat i felt lyk not tokkin to anybody...those who noe me well enuf will noe my rather obsessive nature to retreat into my shell wenever i feel like it...not carin abt those ard me...not carin if its affectin them...juz me...as if tats all i ever cared abt...juz me n no one else...people call tat bein selfish...i admit i am...its juz the way i am...but sumtyms i wonder if its sumting tat i learnt wen i was growin up...if i was actuali meant to be generous and selfless about stuff...maybe...the consequences of bein the single kid for 12 yrs maybe...but im not always selfish...if i feel generous,den ill be very generous by my own standards...hmm...im especially selfish wen it comes to sharin my food...no wonder im gettin fatter...but like i said,im not always selfish...especially to ppl i like...otherwise i offer food out of obligation,sumtyms out of courtesy...but i always feel so insincire simply bcoz i wasnt tat sincere...the trouble wif me is tat i expect sumting in return for the things tat i give..so if i m the one indebted,i'll offer my stuffs to the person freely w/o any insincerity....guz i m a reali bad person ryt?...heh...wat to do...its one of my faults tat u wud hav to live wif if u get to noe me...haiz....its rainin damn heavily outside my office...can reali see the rain fallin in sheets...wow...the great weather to do ur wurk,feel melancholic,and listen to "songs about jane' by maroon 5..."she will be loved" still catches me wif much surprise...juz listenin to the cd itself is more than enuf to bring me back to the yr i decided to stay back...damn...reali man...maroon 5's songs is like linked to the undergrounds,ry n grace in my head...i still rem this blog entry tat faizal the mat wrote...it was a the song she will be loved...dedicated to my brudder...haha...he was infatuated wif her tat tym...n there i was persuadin my brudder to go out wif him till she was mad wif me...i simply tot tat it was so sweet of him to dedicate that song to her mah...haha...then of coz wen i tink abt undergrounds,i tink bout ben too...ahh...how sweet the crush was...stealin glances to make my dae...wonder if he ever knew bout it..?...hehe...maybe the whole group knew abt it...bout it was fun all the same...the feelin of bein infatuated wif sumwan is definitely worth livin for...of coz it comes wif the painful fact tat he oredy haf a girlfren at tat tym...cheh...but my crush originate waaaaaaaaay back in jc1..so it was a long one...reali missed lkin for him durin the start of my third yr in jc...never saw him ever again since prom nite...prom nite...the closest tat i ever got to him...haiz....im juz gonna say this once..juz once..this will be my first and last tym im sayin this...i had reali liked ben,n tho i shud reali move on,i still like him...he was the best crush i ever had..n im missin him more than my ex these daes...i muz either be crazy or stupid to sae this on my blog...but i guz im juz melancholic n is havin a laggin nid to update my tots n feelins...so i tink i will leave u guys here wif "better man" while i continue spirallin down my mood...

Better Man ~ Robbie Williams

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame

Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Once you've found that lover
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around

I know some have fallen
n stony ground
But Love is all around

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doin' all I can
To be a better man

CRAP!

2006-03-28T13:27:00.000+08:00

W as lookin thru this funny website durin lunch...almoz died laffin...especially the last few ones...hope u guys enjoy it as well...n pls refrain frm eatin while readin...u mite lose ur apetite while imaginin,or u myt die chokin on ur food while lafin ur guts out...

The Crap List

THE "GHOST" CRAP
The kind where you feel that CRAP come out, see CRAP on the toilet paper, but there's no CRAP in the bowl.
THE "CLEAN" CRAP
The kind where you feel CRAP come out, see CRAP in the bowl, but there's no CRAP on the toilet paper.
THE "WET" CRAP
You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin your underwear with those dreadful skid marks.
THE "BRAIN HEMORRAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE" CRAP
You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
THE "SECOND WAVE" CRAP
This CRAP usually happens when you've finished, you pants are up to your knees, and suddenly realize you have to CRAP some more.
THE "CORN" CRAP
No explanation neccessary.
THE "LINCOLN LOG" CRAP
The kind of CRAP that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.
THE "NOTORIOUS" CRAP
The kind of CRAP you have in the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.
THE "GEE I REALLY WISH I COULD" CRAP
The kind where you want to CRAP but, even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.
THE "POWER DUMP" CRAP
The kind that comes out so fast that you barely get your pants off before it starts.
THE "LIQUID PLUMBER" CRAP
The kind of CRAP that is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from The Lincoln Log CRAP).
THE "SPINAL TAP" CRAP
The kind of CRAP that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.
THE "PORRIDGE" CRAP
The type of CRAP that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices (a) flush and keep going, or (b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" CRAP
When you drop lots of cute, little, round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
THE "WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE" CRAP
Also sometimes referred to as the "TOXIC DUMP". Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.
THE "I JUST KNOW THERE'S A TURD STILL DANGLING THERE" CRAP
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off, because if you wipe it now, it's going to smear all over the place.
THE "I'VE JUST DIED" CRAP
The type of CRAP that feels like you're giving birth to a porqupine out of your asshole.
THE "TITANIC" CRAP
Sinks as soon as it hits the water.

(courtesy of www.amusingfacts.com)

2006-03-21T16:28:00.000+08:00

i m sittin here ryt now i this cold room tat is below the freezin point....ok...so im juz exageratin...but i dun care...coz im pissed...well...actuali im hungry...n as moz ppl hu noes me noe...a hungry me is an angry me...im not jokin....im moz crappy when im hungry....its juz whether im in the lame-crappy mode or shit-crappy mode that makes the difference...like tdy...juz abt an hr ago im in the lame-crappy mode while chattin wif ry...n nw,im in this shit-crappy mode wif my colleague(lets call her mouse)...ok...here's the situation...its a cold day outside n the a/c is makin it wurst...so like duh!we r very hungry ppl moanin to each other....yee rae left at 3...so left me n mouse....despite me makin up for my terrible attitude to her a few weeks ago,i still need yee rae as my buffer between me n mouse....so nw tat yee rae is gone,so is my buffer....so i was suggesting to mousy tat maybe she shud go run to our boss n ask for permission to run down for a while to buy fries at the nearby mac...not tat i wun do it myself....juz tat i asked my boss for permission to go down to 7 11 last fri...if i ask again,like a bit pai seh ryt...for all i noe,she mite juz tell me to get out of the building n never come back....so yeah...i suggested her tat...n she gave me this stupid answer tat she is even more afaid of my boss than our big boss...im like...WAT KIND OF CRAPPY EXCUSE IS TAT?!!!.....yeah...i felt like cursing simultaneously...of coz i din say tat la....i juz kept quiet n never bring up the issue of my hunger again....so u all may be sayin...she is declinin my suggestion...wats wrong wif dat ryt?....its not the fact tat she wun do as i sae...its the way she shirks everything put before her...her inability to be brave...her cowardice...yes...its her cowardice tat irks me the moz...she never dares to do something new,n yet she will expect her share from watever risks we put ourselves thru...MY GDNESS!!!!...reali feel like screamin my head off ryt now...reali cant stand her...been holdin back for a few weeks nw...maybe sumdae i'll dedicate another entry juz for her...an entry full of bitchin of coz...den i'll complain all i like...i reali muz complain bout ppl i cant stand....n i REALI cant stand her....or maybe its juz the hunger,or maybe the cold temp....but ryt now they're all drivin me nuts within this cold ass shit room...ARGH!!!

2006-03-15T17:24:00.000+08:00

Im wurried....Like concerned wuried...for myself...why?..coz my memory is failing me...I noticed tat tis purpotedly habitual habit of mine is beginning to be more inevitable...basically,i cant,for the life of me,remember details which im supposed to remember...stuff like my boss tellin me wat to do...ill be listenin veri intently,turn ard to walk off,only to turn back again to ask her to repeat her instructions...which is veri bad...i'll lose the info within seconds...sometyms within split secs...at other tyms,i wun be able to reg it into my brain at all...i used to sae tat subjects like bio i wun memorize coz its all abt understandin the concepts...but nw im startin to wonder hw far had i been deceivin myself....im wunderin if im juz lazee to memorize stuff or if im juz inattentive...i tink my thinkin patterns are wurkin the exact same way i studied my bio...i'll understand everythin the person sae at the moment with crystal clear clarity...then once the conversation stops,i'll start to wonder wat was it tat i haf to remember...maybe tats y my bio grades isint as fantastic as my passion for the subject...niweaz,tat aside,im comin to the conclusion tat i can test the cause of my inability to memorize by puttin in tat extra effort to remember details...coz ever since i finished my A's,i've been walkin ard with this blank mind tat doesnt reali register the things ard me...i wunder if tis is the consequence of studyin too much for too long...its as if i no longer haf a care in the world,and thus my mind feels sooo "lite" tat i can reali attached any info to it...and so tis wuries me...wat if these are signs of Alzhiemer's disease...maybe im in the early stages of it...*shudders*....dun wan...im not TAT old yet...haiz...niweaz me nw wanna go hm...so gotta pack up...till den...if i remember...ciaoz...

2006-03-11T00:15:00.000+08:00

ahh...tdy me no wurk...all the perm staff go enjoy themselves at wild2wet n the bowling alley...leave us temp staffs at home n $50 less...cheh...niweaz me got this new comp...my 2nd comp since i did well for PSLE...tat was like ice age in comp life...dunno how i survived those yrs...i din actuali...vented my frust on the comp everytym i logged in...so nw i can only say"finally!" ryt?ya ryt...guz wat?im still stuck wif dial up la...hw sucky is tat?!!daddy say i dun use comp tat much,so it'll be a waste of mthly money...ya ryt...the only reason i dun use comp tat often is coz mummy sae cannot go net tat often lah...so if i dun use the comp,hus fault isit den?!!...so pissed wif the whole thing...im oredy so laggin behind in dis comp era...still wan me to use dial up...but dats not the only pissy thing i encounter tis week...tdy i tot i'd go rebond my hair...lotsa ppl find my messy...their comments drove me up the wall lah...so decided to end tis messiness once n for all...been diskusin wif mum since last week...she gave me the freen signal...den tdy i go survey the price...all above $120..like duh...den she took back her green signal lah!!pissed me like shit!!!i hate it wen she do dat la...goin back on her wrds n all...had to kip an "i'm fine wif it" face...but was punchin my pillows to vent off my anger wen im out of her sight...dun wanna coz another riot...damn...sumtyms life can juz test ur patience so much that u feel like u r strainin all ur relationships wif the ppl u love...how sad...till next...

Assignment 4.1

2006-03-08T17:03:00.000+08:00

Course Name : Professional Skiving
Level : Almost Professional
Lesson No. : 4.1
Pre-requisites :
MSN downloaded
Lap top angled so tat ppl walkin twds u can only see the sun's reflection on ur comp screen
An earphone connected to ur lap top (so tat wen u r lafin at ur comments,ppl think tat u r listenin to the radio online n the radio dj is funny)
Skills required:
Multi-tasking
Analysis of surrounding
Alertness for oncoming intruders
Keeping a calm outlook in times of danger
A hardworking outlook
A dare devil nature
Instructions:
Follow what the assignment questions requires you to do and write a brief report for each qn.

Assignments:
1)Chat on MSN while doing the work assignment at the same time.
2)Look for potential blogskins.
3)Enter your name on the Google Search Bar and look at the results.
4)Blog your report.

Write your report in the space below:

1)I feel lucky to haf such a BORIN job tat allows me full access to the internet.therefore,i took this "kind" oppurtunity provided by my kind boss to...well...chat while i wurk...to those of u hu tink tis is a menial task,think again...my table as a temp staff in nlb is placed beside the corridor,im front of the large open space where my managers always haf their meetings with their clients...its also situated such tat anyone hu walks in n out of the door will walk behind us temp staffs...n therefore they r able to see wats on our screen...of coz,me,bein a tru PIONEER,started the idea of chattin while wurkin in a moment of such INSPIRING boredom...the idea had spread to my other 2 fellow temps ever since...tho they are still fearful to d/l msn...so they use e-messenger instead...which i find to wurk very sloooooooowly....in other words,it suxs...but a desperately bored person like me cudn't possibly wait for e-messenger...MSN was a DIRE need...so i chatted with all the ppl hu r as crazy as me to go online as early as 830 am wen they shud reali be in bed...how dumb those ppl are...no offences peeps!...niweaz i used my skills accumulated from lesson 1.1-3.2 to get to where i am today..my fren,ct,haf yet to master lesson 2.3 : "Positioning ur comp so tat it reflects the sun"...but she'll learn from me,slowly,if not surely...

2)My blog skins is HIDEOUS!!...no offences to my kind cuz hu claim to spent juz 15 mins doin changin my blogskin for me...she did a great job!!...did as i asked her to do...got me my precious inuyasha blogskin..even got RAVE REVIEWS from ppl i dunno...a compliment reali...but the main reason y i decide to call this otherwise perfect blogskin hideous is becoz the fonts are PINK!!!GET IT?PINK!!...and tat is SOOOOOOOOO NOT ME!!!...anywan hu noes me will noe i HATE pink...altho i admit to wear a BRIGHT pink shirt...juz to make a statement...but my fonts...they cant be pink!!?!!So,followin the wise advise of my dear BRUDDER ry...i decide to take on the challenge of changin the skin MYSELF tis tym...so i was lkin for a few potential skins juz nw...n i found a few tat caught my eye...its to my likin oight...nw i juz nid the tym to chg my skin....

3)Do u noe hw FUNNY it is to enter your name in the Google searchbox?well...as idiotic as it sounds,i did this STUPID asg juz nw...and LO BEHOLD!!...up to 14 pgs of results!!...heh...coz my name means "healer" in islam,moz of the results are names of clinics in malaysia n indonesia...saw abt 4 other girls wif my name...saw their blogs n ppl hu added 'syifaa' to their links...of coz its not me...the only ones i saw tat was related to me was grace's photobucket,mimi's links,wei wei's blog entry,ry's links and crayon's blog entry...still it was funny enuf for me...u shud do it sumdae...TRUST ME...its FUN...

4)And finally this report im writing...Started it only in the last half an hr of work....so din get to finish it there...so decide to finish my last asg at hm...so here it is!!Lots of grey matter goes into the process of tis last asg hor...so BETTER gif me RAVE REVIEWS and Nothing ELSE!!!

hehe...till next...ciaoz!

2006-03-06T16:13:00.000+08:00

today i got a msg from jun...she's one of my gd frenz in sec sch btw...she told me the other dae dat one of our frenz is goin overseas to study...actuali juz over the causeway lah,but still overseas mah...so,jun was lyk plannin for a get-tgh-outin for this fren...she ask me if i can make it tml nyte...so me bein me as usual will ask for allll the details and den sae "i c first k?"...yeah...im lyk tat...never confirmin on my own till i ask my mumsie for permission...yep,20 n still the permission seekin lil gurl...haha...habit i guz...so niweaz,i told jun tat...n den she called me "bitch" in her next msg...i got a bit exasperated after tat...she's been callin me tat for quite sum tym nw...well,lately since we've been contactin each other again...i noe tat is hw she is la....u noe...name callin,fren or foe...but i still feel the shock,wen four yrs ago i'll juz let it go w/o battin an eyelid...or moz prob i'll juz answer sumting juz as insultin...tat is hw the bonds of our frenship among our clique was formed aniwae...thru lame jokes,bloody bitchin n insults tat will make u cringe...but i like em all,my cliques i mean...so tis tym,exasperated me decide to answer back...told her "haha...knew u'd call me a bitch..but dun call me tat for no reason too often k?coz u r startin to sound lyk one too...Dis bitch is ok wif anitin...haha"....yep...i said it...so at the tym of sendin the msg,i felt kinda guilty....lyk im gettin back at her,causin hurt purposely...but nw tat i m writin tis entry n tinkin my tots thru,i dun tink i hurt her at all...moz prob she took it as one of our insulting jests...coz she juz came to me on msn n we r continuin our insultin jests even ryt nw...haha...so tat means the whole purpose of me writin this entry,which is to complain to huever hu cares to even read my blog,is washed down the drain....i guz its juz me hu had gone soft after yrs spendin wif jc frens where i hafta be diplomatic rather than purely frank..but tat doesn't mean i dun like my jc frenz...i guz they are bof of 2 different brands...see?im bein diplomatic again...but tat previous statement bout my jc frens is tru...i truly enjoyed bein wif em...they gave me tat sense of belonging to a huge grp of ppl,which not many ppl in jc can enjoy by the way...so i guz im darned lucky to haf "Juzone" n "Muggers" walkin wif me on my otherwise tedious journey of jc life...they've softened the bitchy me...so instead of endin this entry wif a hurt ego,i wanna turn around and end it wif a note of gratitude(does tis sound too much like a speech to u?haha)...gratitude tat goes to all my frenz...for those in my pri sch yrs:u guys gave me a childhood worth reminiscin for the rest of my life folks!....for those in my sec sch yrs:u guys shaped me into tat gal wif a sharp edge and stony resolutions tat will definitely help get me thru my later yrs...for those in my jc life:u guys showed me all the fun moments in life n walked wif me thru my failures...so to all of u guys hu had accepted me as a part of the group,my thanks here r juz not enuf for all the gratitude tat i felt towards u cool bunch...take care ppl...ciaoz...

i get knocked down,but i get up again
u are never gonna bring me down...

~CHUMBAWAMBA,"TUB THUMPING"

2006-03-03T14:20:00.000+08:00

its been 3 daes since results dae...had diorrhea the day before tat...too nervous...wen the principle was givin her speech,i felt like pukin...too nervous....wen i got my results...ccd btw,i cudnt sign my name...too reliefed...i didn fail...tho it'll be hard to get into nus...or any local uni maybe...im still hapi....i made it some hw...either by luck or by blood,sweat n tears...either way,i made it...n tat is enuf...wen i got home,i got calls n smses from aunts n uncles never known to call me before...they called o noe my results n sae congrats...tho im sure they only sae so coz i din fail...watever it is,im still hapi...ytdy came back to work...everyone ask hw is my results...i felt pathetic coz i cant be too proud of my results coz they aren't tat great...so i tell em my results r pathetic...watever it is,im still hapi...so ytdy i d/l msn into my wk comp...hapi again...no longer bored to death...went skiving...elson kept me company...so ytdyi was very hapi...till i got on the train...read my book the whole journey home...wen i reach my stn,i glanced to the right...and lo behold...the bald head i didnt noe i'd recognize anywhere...quickly turned away...he was facin in my direction,sittin wif a girl,moz prob his latest gf...i had to turn away...even tho we r nw fens again,im still not prepared to see his face...its still a shock to cee somewan after 2 yrs of absence....so i walked out of the door with my heart pounding i my ribcage...at nyt wen i went online,i saw wal...a surprise tat he even come to tok to me...we tok crap,tho i sense a conspiracy sumwhere...why else wud he wan to tok to me ryt?...so i juz layan him...den i shut dwn wen anime start...tdy i log on to msn as soon as i on my comp...it saved me frm all the boredom before lunch...now tat its after lunch,i can only hope tat it will save me from all the sleepiness after lunch...till den..ciaoz...

Class outin No 2.

2006-02-21T17:49:00.000+08:00

Met out wif Juzone on Sun...Very fun...Altho i din eat at fish and co...ate only the ceasar salad wif very salty smoked salmon...haha...was reali tempted to try my bro's new york fish and chips...looks really good lah...was almoz droolin..but i held back of coz...the conversations were on both ends of the table...but me n my bro were stuck in the middle...so we tok to each other moz of the tym...den of coz there were the usual Juzone traditions of takin pics...a frenzy of snapshots...felt like celebs being chased by paparazzi...haha...den after tat went to coffee club...had iced mocha vanilla...tok n tok till 1030...den pay up n go home...was very fun...n now im cravin for my next iced mocha vanilla...till next den...

2006-01-11T12:52:00.000+08:00

well...here i am...in my office durin lunch...finished my mc spicy n fries in 15 mins...haha...total glutton...i noe...theres still 5 more mins to end of lunch...n moz of them r not back yet...its terribly borin in here...in fact,i was almoz asleep doin all that cuttin n pastin juz now...im like the youngest here by at least 5 years i think...meanin nobody here is on the same frequency as me...i m sooooooooo not used to that...back in sch,even the moz borin person i noe(im not gonna quote the names of pei ling n yi wei of coz!!! =p) can at least tok to me abt ...music for instance..here,everyone do their own work...once in a while u'll hear sumwan lafin over a private joke n it kills u to juz noe wat they're sayin...wen i complained all of these to my aunts n cuzins,they juz smiled n said "welcome to the workin world!"...more like "welcome to the world for the deaf n dumb" to me...n of coz there's the never endin coldness of the air cond that seems to follow everywhere i go...not only it makes me numb,it also makes me sleeeeeeeeepy....thats real bad....hmm...i tink i gtg nw...lunch ended...maybe this will be the only time tat i get to blog while at work...coz soon il be moved to the lonely desk beside the door,isolated from the sea of cubicles....makes me reali impatient for the new part timer to come...haiz...well,ciaoz for nw then...gtg n finish my work....zzzzz.....

this blog is back from the dead...

2005-12-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

yeah...after such a loooooong break,this blog's main purpose is to tell dat im back n bloggin...nt nw...bt soon...niweaz im free wif lotsa care in this world...bt all that in my next blog...till den,kip a lkout for my entries ya?...haha...im gonna hafta chnge the backgrnd...the black n inu part is nice...n i appreciate my cuzin's help n all...my credits to azmirah...bt the pink part is waaaaay too scary for me...as blur as i m bout changin bckgrnds,for the sake of healin the trauma the pink is givin me,i will try my best to fig it out...till den...GANBATTE EVERYONE!!

the wurst week ever...

2005-05-06T22:50:00.000+08:00

gotta do this in 5 mins...inuyasha starting soon...

so...after such a loooong time since i last updated,i had to choose wat seems like the wurst week of my life to start bloggin again...mouth ulcer prevented me frm eating properly tis week...tat on the left front side n a swollen gum at the back on the rite(wanted to sae right backside....wun sound correct wun it....?)
niweaz the bad starts wif mr big head.snapped at me wen i asked them a simple qn of goin to the movie.sulked for a while afetr tat.became better tho.then after bio prac,miss pink n bimbo no.5 insulted me directly.WHO CARES IF MY LOCKER IS MESSY?!F@#* U ALL!tat was on thu.
then my mom scolded me for askin who the plate of rice is for.din tok to her the whole nite.tat was on wed.

todae?sch waas gd.hm was gd too.till i read one of the guy's blog.nw i'm hell pissed wif em."tryin best to blend in wif the guys"....wat the f@#%...fine.i wun even try to initiate a conversation nw.i'm a girl anwea.no pt blendin in wif the guys.

damn.life is gonna be damn hell borin nw.but my ego prevails.still.miz u s02 guys....

someday...

2005-03-27T19:43:00.000+08:00

hey ppl....been a looooong time huh...muz be the longest break frm bloggin frm me...haha...well lotsa stuff happened since i last blog...muggin...goin for the uni openhses(yea...me n my frens got lost at nus......)...lotsa bitchin goin abt...but the best part is tat exam is over!!!haha...celebrated it wif the guys...went ice-skating for the first time in my herstory(im a gurl...no matter wat the guys say)...yeah...kinda nice hangin out wif em...i dun hafta stick to other gurls...juz sit there,listen to em crappin n laf my heart out...actuali my heart is still here...in body...beatin as per normal...niweaz ive decided to go get some help for my chem...goin to charlie chan...betty too...so we're kinda joinin the clever ones...u noe...ppl like farhan n steven...they're goin for chan tuition too,so we tot its best tat we follow their steps...who noes it'll lead us to an A...hopefully...niwea i turned dwn the offer to go dinner with s02 ytdy...dun feel like miting em all of a sudden...dunno y too...maybe things change n ppl change...then situations change...heh...someday ill go for one of their reunions...yeah...someday....

swing,swing

2005-02-25T21:46:00.000+08:00

2 tests this week...4 mood swings...i guz the bad side of me is finally showing up...yeah..aniwea i haf a lot to complain abt my new cliques...ok...so juz bear wif me...im in a complain mood...
i finally get to see tat tis class aint tat enthu when it cums to bonding sessions a.k.a goin out to eat...everyone seems to like sch food so much...im like startin to puke frm sch food liao(but im still eating a lot of coz)...im like missing ljs like siao now...reali miz the good ol times at ljs...oh man...the fish n the chicken...k..im drooling...gonna hafta ask those ppl comin back for results to treat me there wen they get their gd results....haha...ok...
second thing to complain...i dun think i like bel tat much now...she haf tis habit of whispering to her TIGHT grp of frens....n im moz paranoid wen it comes to seein ppl whisperin ard me...feels as if they talkin bout me...k...i nnoe...im not tt impt to be gossiiped upon...but hell...the paranoia is still there....n shit happens wen im paranoid...i get into a mood swing for example....k...but i try to contain it la...juz kept on tellin em tt i was tired...which is partly tru...hmm...k la...i tink tt shud be my complain of the week...haha...btw i like the art soc performance...seriously good...if only i waas part of the play...its the continuation of the forbidden love thingy...ah...pj ppl shud noe...so yeah...bye bye ppl...coz"ITS A TIME TO DISCO!"...haha...

a belated b'dae report....

2005-02-13T14:58:00.000+08:00

ok..so its been quite some time since i last updated...so lets start wif the 5th of feb...coz tats my bdae!!yeah yeah...i nnoe some ppl r rollin their eyes,turnin green,lookin for the sink to puke...it seems tat my bdae is somewat comparable to "the reason" by hoobastank...no...not the lyrics part...the too much air-play till u puke part..k..ill make it short then...basically i got quite a handful of bdae msgs frm frens n families...including a few frenz whom i hadn't been in touch wif since sec sch....some since pri sch...dun even noe how they rem my bdae...guz im simply too popular to be forgotten huh?...sigh....the ups n downs of one born wif "fame" as her middle name...=)

den after my bdae,is da cny period...no sch on the eve coz kwek declare it a holidae...humph...my aunt came over at 9am to borrow some books frm my mom...i start talkin abt how long since we laast have a ppicnic as one big family...by 11am,my mom had dispatched me to the market to buy some stuff...by 2 she finished cookin n i finished packin our stuff...my dad caame home at 3...by 5 we reached pasir ris liao but cannot jump into water straight away coz of very low tide...talk abt efficiency...

actualy we no intention to stay overnite...but in the end we did...1 tent,6 ppl...the guys slp outside...me n my cuzzies stayed awake till 3am...at 1 we saw a fallin star tat seem more like a comet to me...it was totali beautiful...my first time see such stuff...den at 2 we played badminton...imagine playin badminton at 2 am...haha...it was damn cold...gd thing im a girl,so can slp in the tent...woke up at 5 to watch sunrise...caught it on my hp camera...bootiful...looks aas if i dl wallpaper...8am...finally get to jump into the sea...spent time there till 11...got a bit of tan...a bit only...went home shacked but not sunburnt...slept frm 5 till 12am....tot my eyes playin tricks on me...haha...den i slp again...

after cny period got one sch dae...kinda miz da class...got to see em...onli karine never com...mdm lin oso neva come...slack whole dae...shud haf stayed at hm...haha...ytdy my brudder wrote me another testi...finally...after 4 mths of waitin...been askin her for annother testi after i wrote her in september...hoho...

tml is v dae...its gonna sux...see couples goin ard wif flowers in their hand...huh...enuf to make a single like me jealous...not the couple part...jealous of the flower part...anyone wanna sposor me 14 black roses?...not bbqd ones mind u...hmm...i tink ill haf a mood swing tml....so im signin off now...but b4 tat i wanna give a shout out on the behalf of the other singles like me...."Saint Valentine!!Ur day suxs!!!"...

2005-02-02T13:17:00.000+08:00

hmm...todae started off reali well for me....MAN U TRASHED ARSENAL!!!SHAME ON ARSENAL TO BE BEATEN 4-2 BY A 10 MEN MAN UTD!!!HAHA!!!THE TRUTH HAD SURFACED...MAN U IS A TEAM WIF CLASS....N U ARSENAL FANS CAN GO HOME N CRY IN SHAME NOW....ok...i think tats enuf...btw,my c.ronaldo scored....MY c.ronaldo....haha...k...im goin bonkers soon...din study since fridae...juz do homework....hmmm.....now i muz sae tat its kinda "weird"....no homework before cny....no tests...no nothing...im so free....but less than 2 weeks ago...the weeek after hari raya haji,i had to spend half of my public holidae at home studyin for 3 tests...hmmm....now wat is tat supposed to mean???...hmm...maybe some of u may get it but i aint gonna sae it....wat can i sae?.."SINGAPOREANS ARE LIVING IN BLISSFUL HARMONY IN AN ENV WIF NO RACIAL CONFLICTS"....yeah rite...i accept tat,but i ain't gonna believe tat...does tis sound like a GP essay to ya?i muz be goin nuts...haha...nisa is once again draggin me ard,grabbin my hand,drivin me away frm my classmates....wat was i sayin a few entries back abt me gonna stand up for my social rights?...damn...tat sounds so gp ish...i think its time i stop...gtg niwea...supposed to be studyin wif bethia,but i left her n come to blog...hehe...oight ppl...chaoz....

its ok now...

2005-02-01T01:08:00.000+08:00

im reali hapi to sae tat its all ok....yeah for me...i think i was simply paranoid...tats all lah...hmm...i wonder...btw if any of the guys read my previous entry,im sure they'll be mad at me or pissed or simply confused...i'l juz sae...nvm...juz let it go...btw wanna noe how i rebonded wif em?the tried n tested method i learnt last yr....tai di!!!...all i hafta do is take out my cards n all is back to normal..haha...can laf now...coz hapi liao..yeah...peace out...niwea to my brudder n grace...juz wanna tell em...DUN FORGET!!!ITS ON THE 5TH FEB!!!BUY ME A MAN UTD JERSEY N U'LL GET 5 YRS OFF!!haha....

wat a week...

2005-01-29T17:25:00.000+08:00

mon
ry n grace n suat came back...was overjoyed at first...so much of catching up to do...but wat did i do?i went to crap wif the guys..felt kinda guilty...but somthing waas juz aint rite...n only i noe wat...wun sae it here tho..might hurt the feelings of some parties...ho...so i was crappin wif the guys..had lotsa fun assss usual...lafed my head off...ry was like"stop flirting la brudder!!"...hehe...i waasnt flirtin at all lah ry...i juz nid to strengthen some bonds...in case nisa n bethia never come to sch n my class gurls suddenly haf something against me...at leaast i still haf the guys...rite?well....tats wat i think until....

tue
after prac the mats got no malay coz the lesson was postponed...so i hang ard wif em...then they went to pray...asked me to look after their stuff....so i did...i tot its gonna take only a few mins...hang ard wif sam n maz while waiting...den faizal n ben came...den stephen n wei you n darrell came out of lect coz they escape their chinese....then isnan came...n still the mats haven come down...i was reali shacked n wanted to go home,but that sense of resposibility held me back...stephen helped me...he called fahmi n said i angry liao...i laffed at tat coz i noe he juz tryin to scare em...they finally came down...turns out they were praying 2 prayer times...so i was like "ohhh...then its understandable lah..."...then fahmi was like"u actually waited for us?"i pointed to their bags...fahmi:"u actuali BELIEVED us?"...i was like WAT THE HELL?!!!WAT WAS TAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??!!...of coz i din say it lah...juz spluttered a few stupid lines wif lotsa "but"...then zul n haziq came...they were kiddin me too...i was fumin mad...but i din wanna show it...i saw the cina guys walkin off liao...so i juz say my byes to the mats n walk off...n spend the whole journey back fumin...

wed
not a single mat said a word to me...like..huh?...i din show any anger ytdy...so wassup wif the silent treatment??...i tot only isk is the bunga...so i juz kept quiet as well...no more shikaka greetings...no more stupid jokes...zul was hell quiet...hadi dun even wan to look at me in the face...i was utterly confused...was it bcoz they r against me for bein pissed at them for takin a long time to pray?i noe i m not...i was pissed coz i dim noe they were praying 2 waktu...but after they told me,then i waas like oh ok lah...wats so wrong abt that...they haf a responsibility to fulfill u noe...if tat is y they gave tha silent treatment,then i think its a reali bad impression that they haf abt me...or is it coz they feel bad?...coz if possible i juz wanna forget the whole event n juz move on...its all a slight misunderstanding...so i took the initiative to break the silence...by askin fahmi wat was the pool-watford score...he din noe,but he seemed ok..at least he talked to me...asked hadi...he juz shook his head...a cold reception to me...so i juz turned back n pay attention to tong...which aint ez,mind u...i din join em for bio prac as i usuali do after tat...decided tat ill giv em a break frm me...went down to canteen instead...sat wif nisa n bethia...den saw steve n haziq comin dwn...they were there coz they haf interview...din go to em first...quite scared actuali...so ignored em for a while...but cant do so wen i walk back frm the drink stall...so i said the normal "wat u 2 doin here..."juz wanna test haziq actuali...seems tat he is reali ok wif it...as if nothing happens...so haziq is ok...left zul..."tml"...tats wat i promised myself...

thu
still not much talkin wif the guys...hmm...maybe they had too much bondin sessions wif me...u noe guys...they always nid their all-males-bonding time...zul cracked a joke durin lect...hadi still avoids me for reasons i dunno..he wasnt even present wen i pluttered my lines on tue...so i dunno y he din talk to me...but he n zul borrowed my bio tut...tat was the closest tat i talked to the bof of em...ever since tue tat is....before that we were like braders..how sad....

fri
din even talk wif the guys...immersed myself wif the girls...almoz suffocated frm the boredom...since grace n jun hao n wilk r not comin back to visit,i went home early...wen usualli i wud sit n rot in sch...saw the guys goin for fri prayers...only a few metres behind em...but i din even say hi...either they dun see me or refuse to acknowledge me coz nisa was sending me till in front of G.O or maybe its juz me getting paranoid...watever it is,im hell confused...n in complete misery..

sat
tats tdy....no mood to study...not much tuts aniwea,so im takin things ez....hopin tat things will go back to normal come mon...i reali am....

laugh on...

2005-01-19T15:17:00.000+08:00

yeah...this week is reali gd for me...on mon i rotted wif the guys after sch...damn bitchy siah they all...laffed so hard i almoz cannot breathe for like 2 secs...scary experience...but i continued laffin after tat...like duh...syifaa mah...so they were tellin me abt their klass last year...got so many eras wan...the soo chuan era...the isk era...the chan era...haha...funny stories for my entertainment...and within tat short 3 hours of rotting wif em,i canoredy classify the guys...haziq is the musically-inclined one...forever singing...noes how to play the guitar...not bad i wud sae...hadi is the "don juan"...forever saying hi to gurls n lookin for gurls...in that 3 hr,i think he said hi to abt 15 gurls...but hes a nice guy...charming...sweet...wonder y he still got no gf...hmm...fauzul is my entertainer...forever makin ppl laf wif his comments...try as i may,i can never resist laffin at his jokes...fahmy is the anime guy...he likes fantasy books too...haha...like me...very surprised wen he recognize my inuyasha drawing....n he reminds me of syawal...the guy i had a crush once upon a time...yea...fahmy looks n act like syawal oight...but he aint syawal...then there's darrel...very surprised wen i learnt tat he is in rugby...he soo scrwny tat i actuali laffed...hadi said he laffed like mad too wen he leart that darrel is in rugby...haha...darell is the ultimate slacker...something like me one yr ago...no...he's worse...then there's wei you...ex-almoz become canoeist captain...like darell's case,i laffed hard...wei you is the goody 2 shoes hu not reali so gd lah...quite slack too...but much morehardwurkin than darell...then there's isk...i avoid him as often as i can...he freaked me out the moment i step into class on the first dae...too frenly for my comfort....so i call him the freky one...nisa call him janggut..tats beard in malay...watever it is,i stayed away for as long as i can....thanks to warnings frm nisa...oh ya...then there's stephen...the class manager hu got into the principle's list...he's a funny guy hu made the class call me shikaka ala ace ventura...crazy guy but got a reali gd brain in his head...gonna compete wif him this year...if not its gonna be damn paiseh for me...haha...so tats it folks....a lil bit of info bout my class guys...i wanna say bout the gals too....but maybe next time lah...too long liao....the girls beside me r impatient to use the lap top...whispering like a bunch of bitches...haha...adios....

its a new year...

2005-01-12T15:56:00.000+08:00

first of all lemme ask those who noe my notorious performance in my studies...."have i ever done my tutorials in advanced before?or at least keep up wif sch work"...the answer is no.like...duh!...its syifaa u noe!!forever lagging....so y do i find myself rushing thru my tuts everydae like there is no tomorrow?...a scary example wud be chem...we r supposed to start mass spec last week n fifnish it by this week n finish nmr by next week...but i did my mass spec AND nmr by last weekend!!!...alright...for those of u hu r out of this sch n find this change in me comforting,let me assure u...ITS NOT!!!...im supposed to slack for a while then start mugging or i'll burn out before mid year...so y this?i dunno...even im confused...this is definitely not me....sigh...

anyway,on a brighter side...i finally fitted into my new class...all the lamers are finally back from orientation...never tot all the mats i so despise last year are my source of entertainment this year...i had been laughing really hardn trying not to split my sides for the past 2 daes...they r such a funny bunch...its been awhile since i last laughed tat hard...tot i'd die of hypertension...hehe...lets juz hope i wun be too influenced by them n be a minah...already steve is morphing into a mat...he even sings dikir barat songs wif em...!!!...but dun wury...ill never be a minah no matter how hard i try to be one..not tat i want to of coz...haha...not only tat,everyone seems to love to sing...finally found my jukebox clan...hehe...i enjoy this class...no regrets about it....haha..peace out ppl...hope to hear frm u guys soon...muacks....

simply sad...

2004-12-22T22:38:00.000+08:00

sad.tats one emotion tat i din expect frm myself wen i was logging on juz now.but i am.after reading a few blogs,i realized how far away i m frm the rest of my classmates.two whole years i've been treating them as my closest grp of frens.ppl whom i tot i was reali close wif.but since the end of a's rite up till now,i hadn't heard frm any of them except for grace n sumit.wat does tat mean huh?that some frens are juz for show?tat they haf all the rite to discard u wen they find new frens?if tat is so,den lets juz forget it all ppl.memories may not be erased,but the future is gone....reminds me of wat nancy told me at the beginning of this year wen i asked her y she is frequently alone n not wif the class...she told me "don't u feel tat jc life is an empty and cold place where despite all the fun n bunch of frens,u r actually alone....nobody is reali ur fren...."..i laughed at her back then,saying that i dun feel the same way as her coz i've got my classmates to keep me goin....now,the joke is on me...happy laughing ppl.

losing it...

2004-12-20T23:15:00.000+08:00

make it quick...make this hol end quick...ill miz it for sure,but not rite now...well,i guz they'll sae enjoy while u can...sigh...
btw,i juz did a stupid thing ytdy.i bought my first comic.inuyasha,wat else can it be.here is the stupid part.i finished the whole book in 15 mins.15 mins after spending 7 bucks.u n oe y?coz i can't read chinese.yep.its in chinese...or jap...or taiwanese language...watever it is,i still dunno wat the characters r talkin abt.yep.but im so passionate bout inuyasha tat i bought it w/o thinkin.heck.how do u kiss a comic character?coz i reali am fanatic wif inuyasha...okok...tat sounds disgusting...ok...its official then...blacque is losin it....muz be the overloaded boredom...haha...enjoy the hols ppl...n haf a happy festive season...

guilty...

2004-12-19T06:50:00.000+08:00

as expected,i felt guilty over my last entry...so i deleted it.....she n i will still be frens...i wun jeapordize tat...tats all for this entry....sorry girl...

grad nite...

2004-12-09T14:50:00.000+08:00

wat a nite it was!!!ok...so the programmes were boring...but i was determined to juz enjoy the nite,n i did!!!unlike my table mates...they are such a drag...i hate it wen they complain thru out the nite...n they complain abt practically everything..!!!...wat a piss off...thank god nid was ok...at least she oso enjjoyed herself...wen i drop off at the entrance,i was hell scared..everyone was so glam!!!..i was like "whoa!!1i dun wanna go in there!!!"...n nisa bein nisa is forever draggin me ard...i hate it wen she does tt...makes me feel like a bitch...haha...i m bitchin bout her...ha!..sigh...dunno hw im gonna hafta live the whole of nxt yr...im not gonna haf her clingin n draggin me ard...

well the food was on the not so gd side...but i aint fussy...i noe hw to appreciate stuff...so i ate them...i din finish off everything,but at least i ate a bit of everything...then i went ard takin photos...since grace oredy msg me early in the morn(ok...not so morn...)..to take pics wif the undeergrounds,i did...the grp pic is for her...i muz sae the grp pic lks damn hell nice,so dun wury guys...i oso take individual pics wif everyone...frank,hong yi,chia keat,nisa,rhino,nid,apple,the twins,kuan,zhao&algin,isnan,sha,nancy,yi wei,tab&denise,xun wei,yi ting,zim,farisha,faizal,pink pie,nas,ping,ben...haha...i got home at 1230,but i cudnt slp till 3+ all bcoz of a particular photo i took wif someone...i think i was smiling wen i cud finally slp...coz im still smiling now...peace ppl!!!

2004-11-14T14:00:00.000+08:00

ok...tml is hari raya...n im not the least bit happy...ok...tat wud be a lie..not totally overjoyed...coz i dun wanna go ard n askin for ppl's forgiveness...i wud rather juz send em an sms than go ard mumbling the same sentence all over askin for forgiveness to ppl whom ive never done any wrong...so i guz ill be mumbling a lot tml...the worse wud be my parents,coz im gonna hafta hold back tears coz u noe u did a hell lot of wrong stuff towards em ...n holding back tears is not the easiest thing to do in the world,mind you...it still sticks in ur throat no matter how well trained i m in holding back tears...its gonna suck...

oh ya...im also suffering frm a relapse of heartache...not a nice feeling...i uz wanna forget...god...plz help me forget...

ok...to all my muslim frenz,selamat hari raya...i dun bother wif crds anymore,but if u r in my contacts list,ill send u an sms...to all my jc2 frens...u all havin a levels now...so work hard...so dun go online too much...*ahem ahem...tat msg was for ppl like ry,grace,faizals n the undergrounds,sumit...hehe*.....ill miz u all...my mum is callin me to do some last minute work for her nw...man...guz ill go nw...

signing off..."Slave of the week..."

only one

2004-10-31T15:00:00.000+08:00

k...this is my current fave song...dunno y it still haven get frequent airplay in s'pore...but its good man...u guys shud go n dl it...its by yellowcard by the way...

Yellowcard lyrics :: Only One lyrics
Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

blissful...

2004-10-31T13:52:00.000+08:00

yep...im leading a happy n blissful life rite now...anyone jealous?...haha...already my classmates r missing me...coz i didnt come for half the lessons...i dun want to face the teachers actually...id rather stay in da lib n juz study...k...i need to learn how to put songs on my blog...anyone care to teach me?...haha...

tangled...

2004-10-24T16:50:00.000+08:00

let me imitate faizal the mat..."im in love wif a new song"...haha...its by maroon 5...

"Tangled"
I'm full of regret
For all things that I've done and said
And I don't know if it'll ever be ok to show
My face 'round here
Sometimes I wonder if I disappear

Would you ever turn your head and look
See if I'm gone
Cause I fear

There is nothing left to say to you
That you wanna hear
That you wanna know
I think I should go
The things I've done are way too shameful

Your just innocent
A helpless victim of a spider's web
And I'm an insect
Goin after anything that I can get
So you better turn your head and run
And don't look back

Cause I fear
There is nothing left to say
To you

That you wanna hear
That you wanna know
I think I should go
The things I've done are way too shameful[x2]
And I've done you so wrong
Treated you bad
Strung you along
Oh shame on myself
I don't know how I got so tangled up

frens...

2004-10-24T16:08:00.000+08:00

here is a lil update of how i fared these last few daes...n my tots on em...
my circle of frens is breakin up...yeah...those involved will noe...i wonder if others like the undergrounds n my classmates saw it too...watever it is,im sad....really sad...but i wun blame them...this is wat happens wen frens get too close to each other...they will noe each other too well n will start seeing each other's flaws...sooner or later,one will feel that the other is intruding one's personal space....that sense of individuality is gone...everything that one does,the other seems to follow...u may call it self-consiousness...i call it paranoia...coz i felt it before...nisa n nurul suffered over my paranoia...poor em...havin to suffer frm my mood swings...yes....mood swings...n indication tat the other is angry wif someone...all u nid is to look out for who that volcano eruption is aimed at...u'll never noe if its u...but still....to my frens who r at war wif each other w/o makin it too obvious...i hope u guys will sort this out before u guys leave me here in pjc oight...dun walk out of this jc wif bad feelins for each other alright?...tats my plea...n i dun plea tat much in public...
i did the maths mock...all though i dun hafto...but i still did it anyway...hopin to assure my self that i'm meant to repeat...i failed...so now im a happy kid...that dae my class came in our class tee...i was sooo damn proud of my class...but we didnt take pics that much...wait till everyone rem to wear it...niwea then later me n naziha went to break fast tgh...ry n her j1 frens were at lj too...we met pravin n he ate wif me n naziha...had quite a nice time...grace lent me a feew vcds n dvds...haha...pirate grace ill call her now...niwea i killed my boredom by watchin em...
im havin a huge dilemma...whether to go for grad nite which i paid for le...no nisa to be my partner in crime no fun lah...she n her lose face...y cant she be like me n have thick skin?...haiz...il consider tho...aint gonaa let 75 bucks fly away...not after i let 300+ fly away..i think ill psycho her...haha...help me convince her ppl...nah...ill do it myself...

she will NOT be loved...

2004-10-21T11:19:00.000+08:00

GET A LIFE GIRL!!!quit thinkin abt attached guys, breakin ur heart over them...melancholy aint gonna get u anywhere!!!move on...come on...no one is gonna mend that broken heart...u aint gonna be loved...
yup...tats wat i said everydae...but me bein me...im all talk n no action...i need to get movin...but before i go...here is a little song that i wrote in my melancholic mood juz now....i dun expect any admiration watsoever...juz wanna share it...tats all...goes out to the guy who occupied my mind when i wrote it...happy bein attached...

I'M STILL DREAMING...

for so long
i was empty wihout love
when u came along
ur presence hold me up above
but we're still strangers
i noe i'll never be ur girl
coz i'm the dreamer
juz in my dreams do our love unfurl

c/o:
i'd be waiting
for the day u notice me
i dunno how,i dunno when
how i hope we'll be frens
i'll be dreamin
of the day u smile at me
coz tat day will be the day
my heart wun be alone again...

i noe u love her
juz the way i love u
i'm still the dreamer
there'd be no way i could tell u
how my heart,my soul will melt
when u look in my way
do u noe how i felt?
juz seeing u made my day...
(chorus)

i want u in my arms
to be loved again
never feel alone,
again...
but i noe my chance
is never in my hand
always love a guy like u
who's heart is in her hands...

end c/o:
i'm still waiting
for the day u notice me
i wun noe how,i wun noe when
but i hope we'll start as frens
i'm still dreamin,for the day u look at me
ur smile still makes my day,
so near yet far away...
coz i'm still dreamin...
i'm still dreamin....